So, my rear wheel- with the brand new tubular- wasn't holding air. I spent a good portion of the weekend and race morning trying to figure it out, before I just decided to race on it and hopefully it would hold enough to get me through the ride. I looked at it as a blessing to figure out it was not holding air now, as opposed to finding that out the morning of MIM.
Everything was coming along fine for the morning. Then (turn away boys) I started my period unexpectedly 30 minutes before the race. The lovely cramps followed immediately. I took some Aleve and moved on as best as I could.
I was moving though each issue pretty smoothly- fixing what I could fix and just rolling with the rest.
The SWIM- or the event that has drained my love for all triathlon
The water was in the high 60s, I believe, so I wore my wetsuit. There was a little chop in the water, so I got a good warm up in. I felt nauseous during and after warming up...a sign of things to come although I did not know it at the time. The swim, while not my strongest leg, has been a good event for me as I have learned to really get in there and fight for a good clock time. I have been learning to really race the swim. Just not this weekend.
The mass start swim went off- within 50 meters I was doing a back/breaststroke combination in a full out panic. I mean full out. I never recovered. I could not start swimming again. I pulled my goggles off x 2 in a panic just to see what was around me. I couldn't even freestyle to shore- the last 50 yards were still a breaststroke. And I was MISERABLE. I quit triathlon 100x during the swim. I have never, ever had a swim like that- even as a beginner. I just could not put my face in the water and start swimming again. It was embarrassing to look around and see everyone else swimming- and me treading water. I tried every trick in the book to get back in my groove- but it just was not my day out there. I just cannot put into words how miserable my swim experience was. This is an event I enjoy, and I normally look forward to the swim challenge.
I knew my race was gone- and all I could do was complete the next 2 events to the best of my ability. The problem was, I wasn't having fun anymore after the hugely disappointing swim. In T1, I couldn't get my helmet on- just another challenge.
On the bike, we went uphill (up Iron Mtn) for the first half of the race into the wind. My computer decided to stop working- another challenge. The bike was uneventful for me. I was still very nauseous and did not take in any fluid for a long time. I didn't really even notice the wind because I was still sick. I never could get into a groove, but I just kept pushing forward. I told myself that maybe, just maybe, other women felt as bad as I did or had bad swims as well (although I didn't see how anyone could have swam as poorly as I).
The run was more of the same- up the mountain on the way out. The nausea persisted and the knee swelled. The volunteers put the turn around cone in the wrong place, so we ran more than the planned distance. I remember thinking as I was at about mile 2 of the run that I felt better at mile 24 of my Ironman than I did at this sprint.
What kept me moving forward? 1. just deciding to do it 2. thinking that other people may be struggling too 3. trying to encourage others when I was feeling poorly 4. remembering that every race in an opportunity to practice, not to be perfect.
I left the race with 1st OA woman out of a very small field. I did not enjoy most of the day- not because I had a bad race, but because the swim really scared me. It really upset me to have such little control over myself during that event. It wasn't about having a "bad" swim, it was about not being able to mentally battle my panic. But, I survived and persisted. I met a few new friends, including David in the picture from Memphis who won his age group (and had a fantastic swim :)
I knew my race was gone- and all I could do was complete the next 2 events to the best of my ability. The problem was, I wasn't having fun anymore after the hugely disappointing swim. In T1, I couldn't get my helmet on- just another challenge.
On the bike, we went uphill (up Iron Mtn) for the first half of the race into the wind. My computer decided to stop working- another challenge. The bike was uneventful for me. I was still very nauseous and did not take in any fluid for a long time. I didn't really even notice the wind because I was still sick. I never could get into a groove, but I just kept pushing forward. I told myself that maybe, just maybe, other women felt as bad as I did or had bad swims as well (although I didn't see how anyone could have swam as poorly as I).
The run was more of the same- up the mountain on the way out. The nausea persisted and the knee swelled. The volunteers put the turn around cone in the wrong place, so we ran more than the planned distance. I remember thinking as I was at about mile 2 of the run that I felt better at mile 24 of my Ironman than I did at this sprint.
What kept me moving forward? 1. just deciding to do it 2. thinking that other people may be struggling too 3. trying to encourage others when I was feeling poorly 4. remembering that every race in an opportunity to practice, not to be perfect.
I left the race with 1st OA woman out of a very small field. I did not enjoy most of the day- not because I had a bad race, but because the swim really scared me. It really upset me to have such little control over myself during that event. It wasn't about having a "bad" swim, it was about not being able to mentally battle my panic. But, I survived and persisted. I met a few new friends, including David in the picture from Memphis who won his age group (and had a fantastic swim :) Today they had a duathlon as part of a stage race weekend. While I was invited to compete to win OA female for the weekend, I said "no thanks" and what I meant was "hell no!" because I was still really nauseous and miserable from the morning. David (in picture) lives on a lake and has invited me to come practice open water swimming with him. I will take him up on it- just certainly not today since I am still a little shaken up. And the next race I do in open water, I may just have to get off to the side, in clear water, and start slowly.
On the bright side- everyone should try a race or two in Arkansas- it is a beautiful state with lots of gorgeous, small mountains and nice lakes. I drool when I think about the rides that I could be doing if I lived in that state.
6 comments:
Sorry about the race this weekend. That sucks about the swimming, but I'm sure you'll turn it around in no time.
My husband was in AR today for soccer and he ran in Burns Park in Little Rock. He came home and said how great their trails and events are!
I know RT, you have to go with him next time to Little rock and run. I am so amazed every time I go at how many beautiful, beautiful parks they have. Arkansas is really underrated in my book.
i totally understand your swim. happened to me to 2 weeks ago. it is the absolute WORST feeling. But major props to you for toughing it out and moving foward. you deserve a "WHO DAT"!
I guess Arkansas isn't called the natural state for nothing! :)
I think swim freakouts happen. Not that I'm a good swimmer, but remember last year at Heatwave when I got completely claustrophobic in my wetsuit and had to unzip it halfway to finish the swim? OMG it's the WORST. Especially since you know it's your weakest leg of triathlon.
Way to get yourself out of it and NOT quit! HUGS!!
Yes those freakouts do happen, and you just have to work through them, knowing that you are totally fine, will be fine, and just need to breathe normally. Inhale and exhale sounds so natural, but for some reason it doesn't work so well for alot of people in open water. Keep thinking about your breathing....Come to CA and I will totally help, would love to....and bring your pups too ;-))
Damie, thanks for stopping by my blog! And I've had that panic attack in the swim happen before - at the Chicago Triathlon. It's horrifying. I think the most disturbing part is that I don't know what brought it on so I don't know when or if it will happen again. But still managing to win after enduring that is fantastic!
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