Last Race of the Year/December: Florida 70.3

I haven't been sure if I had the ability or time to return to long course racing, but somewhere towards the end of the summer I just needed a different challenge.  I was stagnant in my sprint racing, and while I was enjoying it, I also just didn't see myself improving if I continued to do what I was doing.  I kept looking at the 70.3 race calendar, even though I was not remotely in shape to do one.  I kept coming back to Florida 70.3.  It would be in December, so it would be on the cooler side.  😏 (not true).  I would also get a couple of months of cooler weather for training in Nola.  (maybe not cool, but they were better.)  I could drive there, which is a huge bonus.   I thought, this is a good way to end the year.  Let's give it a try. 

I asked a good friend of mine, Jeff Fejfar, to help me the last 2 months get ready to just show up healthy and ready to complete the distance.  It was a big ask and I didn't give him a lot of time.  I also didn't have a power meter, a really great bike trainer, a bike that fit, good pool access, etc, etc.   As a coach, I realize how challenging this was to ask of someone.  But, he was a great listener and willing to work with me where I was.  He has known me for a long time, and I think he was pretty shocked to see my starting point which was well below what he expected.  I was also slow to grow, which was a little tough too.  But, by the time the race came, he felt pretty confident I would have a good race, whatever that meant.  He said, " You're in a better place than you think."

Dave took this picture when I wasn't paying attention.  He loves it and says I looked so focus and strong.  But, I clearly remember thinking at this moment that I forgot...again...to look at the number of buoys on the swim course.  Ha!  

Swim 39:42:  My slowest swim ever- wetsuit or not.  I looked at my watch, saw the time, and thought...well, oh well.  I did the best I could.  I was a little disappointed, but I also know swimming owes me nothing.  Overall, the swim was fine.  I need more practice in my wetsuit, as I did feel restricted.  I am generally a pretty straight swimmer, but I think I struggled a little bit to stay on course.  But, nothing big happened.  Honestly, it was one of the nicest swims I have ever had as far as very little contact with others.  I just have been very slow in the pool and can only go a maximum of 2 x per week due to work, and the lack of swimming showed this year.  

I got out of the water, and for the first time ever Dave gives me a split!  Like he was actually paying attention and caring!   He tells me he thinks I am in the top 10 AG, which is exciting.  I never really know where I am in a race so that was a nice little motivator.  I struggle to get my wetsuit off, again.... but I feel pretty happy and ready to go ride.  

Dave...actually paying attention to the race and finding me in transition.  It only took 15 years! 

Ride:  2:40:38.  One of my slower bike splits, but I was happy.  I really felt like I could not have asked for anything more. My main concern was my back.  I have had intense back pain all year, which has really limited my training.  I got another fit literally right before the race, and changed the saddle a week out.  It was a huge risk.  I could really be miserable out there since I hadn't tested the set up.  But, I was so fortunate that the changes I made last minute worked in my favor.  I felt good out there and had just the tiniest back discomfort, which was completely manageable.  I felt strong and smooth.  I didn't pay attention to pace and didn't know my overall time, but I just made sure to check from time to time that my HR was in a reasonable place. That's it!  No power or pace, just RPE and HR checks.  

It is a one loop course that is pretty much just easy rollers.  The streets are perfect compared to where I ride, and the wind was nothing compared to what I ride in every day.   So, I was really enjoying myself.  I saw very little drafting.  (But I later found out the race, even though sold out, had a smaller field.  So, maybe that was the difference?). Actually everyone on the course was great.  Guys would give me compliments when I passed them.  I would cheer on other women as I came through.  To be honest, I just had such a positive experience here.  I have been in so many races where I have yelled at guys for drafting.  That just didn't happen to me here.  

I think I got my fueling right (maybe about 600 calories in fluid and 400-500 in gels and 200 in blocks.  So approx 1200-1300/400 hr).  No issues there.  But, I did notice the heat was coming on, so I knew I needed to get off of the bike soon and start the run as soon as I could.   

Run:  1:55:08.  This is also my second slowest run ever, but I wasn't totally aware of that as I just didn't look at overall time.  As I went out onto the run, I knew the heat would get some people.  A guy that came off the bike with me just took off, and I noticed that and realized there was no way I could do that.  My run has been suspect, and I can't pretend it is any better than it is.  I settled into an effort that seemed to be something I could hold the whole race, which was around 8:50 to 9-ish pace.  (Jeff had thought I would be faster than that- more like 8:20 pace based on training, but I just had a feeling with the years off and the heat that I would be on the slower side). 

 

For those of you that know Florida 70.3, you know it is not flat like advertised.  You almost immediately go up 2 big hills in the first 1.5 mile.  Most people were walking, but I made sure to run/jog the whole way.  It is really a mental thing for me, and I have a rule of no walking unless I need to in order to get nutrition.  

By mile 3, I really needed to use the bathroom.  I knew I had to diarrhea...something that has plagued me in long distance racing for every single ironman and maybe 50% of 70.3s I do.  I am not sure if the issue comes from the drink mix, the blocks, or just general stomach upset with a big effort.  I get it when I do longer runs and harder efforts in training too.  This time I got to a porta potty maybe around mile 4, lost just 1 minute in there, and felt 100 x better and ready to run again.  

The course is 2 loops and pretty open with very little shade.  Temps were 85, which is not as hot as a summer race, but certainly isn't ideal.  I did all of the ice tricks...ice in hands and ice down my top whenever I could get it.  I wasn't catching any girls, and by the time I hit loop two, it was impossible to figure out who was on loop 1 and loop 2.  (Something ironman could easily improve in the USA by doing arm bands like they did at IM Wales).   I did pass the guy that blew past me at mile 1, and I could see many people cramping and slowing.  I really think these long distances are interesting.  The really, really strong runners just gobble up these courses.  The people that aren't quite as strong and get their pacing wrong just explode.  You really have to know who you are and your capabilities.  

As I approached the 2nd lap, I was ready to see Dave and get some cheers.  I really needed some.  I was slow and tired.  I looked for him for a mile, thinking maybe he was just waiting for me a bit further up the road.  I just knew a smile and a "good job...keep going!" would make the 2nd loop great.  Well, the little stinker...my only cheerleader...wasn't there.  He didn't realize the course was two laps.  So, I started my 2nd lap thinking..."He only had one job...."

I didn't get any faster, but I didn't slow down.  I staved off cramps and made it to the finish with a pretty steady effort.  The course was a tiny bit short and seemed to be about 12.9 miles when I compared everyone's Garmin data.  Not that I was complaining, because I was really ready to be done. 

One thought I remember having on the run course is that I only need to do one of these a year.  At least in my current condition, that is all my body could probably tolerate.  I also wondered how I ever did ironman, and how I ever ran ironman marathons faster than how I was running this half.  How did my body do that?  I told myself my ironman days may be over and a half may be all I do going forward.  We will see if I stick with that.  

Finish time:  5:22:09.  My second slowest half ironman time ever, but one that I am proud of because it was very steady.  I went in with ZERO expectations.  I told Dave to really cheer me on if I was at the bottom of my AG, because I felt like that was a real possibility.  I knew there was very little chance I would be competitive based on my results from the prior months.  To be honest, I just didn't want to embarrass myself.  

So, imagine my surprise to find out I was 3rd in my AG when I finished.  You can only race the course and conditions one the day, and you can only race who shows up on the day, and somehow my effort landed me near the top of my AG.  

To top off the unexpected award, I then got a 70.3 World Championship slot to St. George as they had 3 for my AG.  I guess I will now be training for another half IM next year.  

Cheers!  On to the 2022 races.  

River Roux Oly Distance Tri: October 2021

Another late one- but I want to get it down so I don't forget!

After 4 sprints this summer, I decided to try my hand at an Olympic distance race again.  I figure if I just keep racing, it will come back.  I also realized I was not feeling incredibly motivated at the sprint distance as my only carrot.  A couple of weeks prior to this race, I registered for Florida 70.3.  I am not sure why.  I have no clue why it appealed to me, other than it was in driving distance and at the end of the season which gave me a little more time to get in shape + not have to train in 100+ degree weather for every single session.  It was a scary goal.  So, an Oly was a good stepping stone.  

In another one of my hair-brained plans,  I woke up at 3:30am to drive to race because I am too cheap to get a hotel room the night before.  Doh!  I was tired this time around.  I may be getting a little too old for that.  

River Roux ended up being a TINY race.  I am not sure it is the effects of Covid or decreased tri participation in Louisiana in general, but the field was very small for such a nice Olympic distance triathlon.  

Swim:  We swam in the False River, which I was told used to be geographically a part of the Mississippi River way back when.  I thought that was pretty cool.  I absolutely love river swims too!  

Casey and I hung out before the race, and she is a real swimmer.  Of course she didn't warm up because she could swim with one arm and be faster than most of the field.  Well, I didn't warm up because I was too busy talking to her and that was a mistake.  For one, I didn't count the buoys to see how far down I needed to go before the turn buoy.  (ALWAYS look at the course prior!).  I also didn't put on my most tinted goggles, which was a mistake as I swam straight into the sunrise.  

So, I entered the water and couldn't see a thing for a huge portion of the race as it is a big out and back down the river.  Had I counted the buoys, I could have at least had an idea of when I was close to turning.  But, I didn't, and somewhere in the middle of the course I turned before I was supposed to.  I quickly figured out my mistake and figured I only lost maybe 50 yards.  Frustrating, of course. Mental note to up my pre-race game. 

Bike:  Again it was a nice out and back with flat roads.  The field was tiny, so I was really by myself most of the ride with very few people to chase near me.  I caught one girl coming back which was great, but I could just tell that I wasn't smooth or putting out my normal ride.  I am not comfortable on my bike and something about the fit isn't quite right. I can't put my finger on it, but I just can't generate anymore power, and it isn't a muscular or aerobic issue.  I know for sure after this ride I have to go have another bike fit.  Something is off. 

Run:  I hovered right about 8 to 8:10 min pace for the run.  It was not blazing hot out, although the run was really opened and exposed to the sun.  But, I felt like I could manage the heat on this day.  Several of the girls were way ahead of me.  The girl I passed on the bike passes me back at mile 1 (and ends up nabbing 3rd place).  I feel pretty happy with my run in that I am at least holding the same pace for the 10k as I was for the 5ks.  It still just feels incredible slow to me, and I envy the girls ahead of me floating in the 7s.  

What I do remember thinking during the run:  "my half ironman run pace will be around 9 minutes."  I think to myself, in equivalent heat, that will be my pace.  9 minutes will be "comfortable."  So now I know.  No heroics on 70.3 race day, even though I am 2 months out.   I know I still have time to train and gain run fitness, but realistically, I know if I can't run a sub 8 10k off of the bike, my half marathon pace will be slower than I want but I am at peace with that. 

The only run mistake I made on this day was not wearing socks.  The blisters started early and really made running tough.  My feet were torn up after the race.  I decided after today I would wear socks going forward for all distances.  I am just too old to have the pain.  (or too wimpy now...maybe age has nothing to do with it.)

I got some cool awards, including a gift card to a running store. Yippee!!!

Casey and I did not race head to head this race because we realized in other races we are constantly keying off of each other and it is distracting from racing others and ourselves.  But after this race, we realized we do need to race head to head.  I finished .8 seconds ahead of her for the OA Masters win and 4th OAF.  It is amazing how different our strengths are, yet again how closely together in time we finish.  So, we agreed that if we are really that close, we do need to be really racing each other.  Time trial starts in all of triathlon make racing hard these days, and I haven't seen a wave start or mass start race in years.  

Awards with my friends, Casey and Word.  Racing is more fun with friends :) 

Cultivation Nation: August 2021

***I wrote this, but then forgot to publish it.  Late...but done. 

After triathlon #3, I jumped into another trail race to see if I was making any progress from last year.  Same race- same course- different year for the Bleau Moon Trail 10 miler night time race.  Of course I was hoping to just utterly smash my result from last year.  

I finished a tiny bit faster- about 4.5 minutes faster- than last year.  But, I still just didn't feel great out there.  I knew I had to be grateful fo be a little faster, but only 25 or so seconds per mile faster after a whole extra year postpartum just didn't seem all that great.  I finished 4th OA (again), so still fighting to be up there with the contenders, but really just not even close to competing.  I worked on being grateful, but did feel a bit disappointed.  Why has it been exponentially harder for me to run this postpartum journey?

Bleau Moon 10 miler night race 2021  

On to the next triathlon:  Cultivation Nation.

This was a sprint triathlon that just happened to be held the weekend of Hurricane Ida.  So, because it just made so much sense, I drove out of town in the middle of evacuations to race a triathlon...and then came back to the city to hunker down for a hurricane.  I guess once I plan to do something, I don't deviate.   I am not sure it was the smartest thing to be doing the day before a hurricane, and I definitely felt a little extra stress with my decision.  

Swim:  I finally got in an awesome warm up.  I never get to warm up the swim, but I was ready to rock and roll this time.  And then, as I left the warm up to the start line, my goggles broke in half at the nose piece.  

WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE:  Notified the race director, run to transition which was a fair distance away and gotten a new pair, and then started last. 

WHAT I DID:  I borrowed duct tape from the starting line guy's van and taped my goggles at the nosepiece and hoped they would hold.

Of course, 10 yards into the swim, my goggles broke for good and fell to the bottom of the lake.  It was my first race to ever swim without goggles, and no lie, it sucked.  Yes, you can swim without seeing.  But you can't sight or navigate around others easily.  It is stressful.  I got out of the swim grumpy- I did my best, but that was not the start I wanted.

Bike:  "I am going to keep up with those strong girls today.  I am going to work super hard and keep it as close as possible."  Nope, no I am not.  2 girls blew by me and put minutes in on me.  Another one was already up the road.  So while I am still working hard in training, I am just not seeing the results on the bike.  

Run:  I want to go fast- I have worked hard.  But man, I am just not running well.  The other girls are running at least 1 minute per mile faster than I am running.  Within the first 1/2 mile, a girl I finished ahead of in the last race passes me with authority and I never see her again.  I resign myself to telling everyone great job, and I mean it...because they look great!  I probably look as terrible as I feel.  And man if I try not to feel disappointed, but I know I am a better runner than this. 

Cultivation Nation Run Finish

So, I finish 1st Masters and 5th OA female.  I worked hard, but I didn't see the results I was hoping to see. I get ready to head home...back to the hurricane...and my car is dead.  O.M.G.  Not what I need.  So, I meet a new friend named Chris, and we realize that we have about 100 mutual friends and can't figure out how we have never met.  He was a really friendly guy, and we had an awesome time hanging out.  He gives me a jump and I realize I cannot turn my car off for any reason if I want to get home.  I then proceed to slam my thumb in the door and I am pretty sure I broke it as it turned immediately purple and blue (and it still is 2 months later).  I call Dave, cry about my thumb, and wonder why this day has gone so sideways.  I make it back in time to watch Hurricane Ida settle in.  And overall, life is good- I love my family and I am so grateful I get to race. 

Gorgeous sunset after Hurricane Ida left the area

But just a side note to end this post.  A few weeks after this race, I found out the same guy, Chris, died in the swim portion of a triathlon.  I felt so fortunate I had a chance to meet him, and so sad that such a great guy that clearly loves our sport met such a tragic fate.  Life is short- be friendly to everyone you meet.  

Queen City Triathlon: August 2021

 On to my 3rd triathlon of the year.  

1.  I got a bike fit for my TT bike the week of the race.  I know this isn't ideal, but I just have to fit it in when I can.   I have been having a lot of back pain and cannot tolerate more than an hour on the bike.  I thought we would raise the front end, etc.  Instead, the front end got drastically lowered and stretched.  I was (and maybe still am) skeptical.  But, Mark has more knowledge of bike fit than I do, so I let him make the decision and I decided to do the job of adapting.  

2.  I knew I needed to fix the water bottle issue, but...I forgot, or didn't, or didn't prioritize it.  So, come race day, with a new fit as the aerobars had been adjusted, I still didn't test this out.  Dumb.

3.  I used some new running shoes.  

4.  I used a new tri outfit, since I have been having trouble fitting in my clothes.  

So, those were my changes (or what I was supposed to change), and on to the race I went.  

Swim:  3rd fastest female, meaning either I had a good swim or no one there could swim.  But either way, I felt normal and fine in the water.  Nothing really to note. 

Bike:  4th fastest female.  It seems okay when you look at the result, but I was slower than some athletes I had been biking with in the previous race and my back hurt really, really badly by the end of it.  I am sure a new bike fit right before the race had something to do with that.  I didn't feel flat, just didn't feel like I was going anywhere plus I was fighting back pain.  But, the other problem was my water bottle would not stay in my aero bars, meaning I had to hold it the entire way in my hands.  What a nightmare!  It just goes to show, you have to get your equipment right- get the details right!  I should have been focusing on turning the pedals and staying aero, not holding a bottle.  I vowed I wouldn't race again without fixing it. 

As well, my new tri top was a parachute.  It was too big for me, and wind was just billowing in from the top the whole ride.  Just little details, but things that you notice on the bike and they have to be addressed. So, that outfit was one and done.

Run:  I think I had the 7th fastest female run.  So, still my limiter, but I went from 8:30s to avg 7:50s, so I thought maybe things were at least trending in the right direction again.  I felt more positive overall about the run and how I was able to manage it.  Using newer shoes that were a little heavier by more cushioned was a good choice, as my knee pain was much less.  For those of you that know me, you know I really never run pain free and haven't since maybe my teenage years and my first knee injuries.  But, when days are good, it is manageable and not a limiter, and today was one of those days.  

I know what I am capable of running, and I am used to just applying the training and seeing progress in this area.  I have been a really slow gainer in the run this time around, so I just continue to keep a patient and persistent mindset.  

I ended up 3rd OA Female.  So, it was my first time stepping on the podium in a long time.  But, of course there was a little asterisk next to this as the female that is constantly winning (and kicking my butt) every race went off course during the bike.  So, on a normal day I would have been 4th again. 

So, I left this race thinking maybe some things were turning around.  My swim was fine, my bike was concerning because my back hurt so much, but my run was better so that was good.  Onward I went to the next race in a few weeks...

Bay St Louis Sprint Triathlon July 2021

After Crawfishman Tri, I was eager to start racing a bit again.   I was signed up for a 10 mile trail race in June, Run for the Hills, that I did in 2020.  I thought SURELY I would do better this year...after all I was an entire year further out from having a baby and must be more fit!  

And all I did was suffer out there.  I suffered the painful death of an out of shape runner, trying to get her body up and down little hills, and trying to be competitive but not really having the tools or fitness to do so.  I started off super slow (or so I thought), but even my slow wasn't slow enough.  I was just so painfully slow that I don't think it even registered for me that I needed to back down more.  It was so odd. Last year I just felt better and better as the race went on.  This year my pace was much slower and it just continued to get slower as the miles passed.  I caught what I thought was 3rd place woman around the halfway point, thinking she had gone out too fast as she had been well ahead of me early on. But know what?  She passed me back a mile later.  That has so rarely happened to me, all I could do was encourage her on and just keep suffering by myself.  I finished 4th OA female, which would start to become a theme... and never felt good the entire race.  

This was clearly before the race, when I was happy.  Post race, I was so grumpy that Dave, "Mr. I hate running," just went out there and ran like it was easy.  I was feeling all of the feelings after this race...trying to balance my gratitude with also having a pity party.

Last year Dave beat me by 5 minutes (8 months postpartum) and this time he beat me by 13 minutes (16 months postpartum.). WTF you might ask?  Me too.  

One of my athletes, Emily, ran her first race EVER in her whole life and won 3rd place in the 5 miler.  I was so stoked for her! 

So I turned my focus to the Bay St Louis Spring Triathlon a few weeks later in July and my second of the year.  

Swim (10th woman):  Beach area walk  swim, where everyone came out of the water in almost the same time because you couldn't really swim.  

Bike (4th women's bike split):  Finally- I felt like I was getting somewhere.  I saw my friend Casey up the road and found I was bridging a little bit, and at least not losing time to her.  A woman rode by me at about 60rpm just gobbling up the course, so that was notable.  (And I would later watch her fly past me every single race...oh and she can run too).  But otherwise, everything was good.  I put an aero bottle on the front of my bike, but the straw kept falling over, so I had to hold that in place most of the ride.  It was just one more thing to fix.  

Run (10th women's run):  I knew if I could catch Casey and put some time into her, I could maybe beat her as it was a time trial start.  Yay!  I love this!  I love to run!  Wait....why am I so slow.  Um, why is my pace not getting any faster?  Ummm...  My big plan to unleash my run was just not happening.  

So, you are telling me I can no longer really run?

It was hot.  I caught Casey and we were both suffering but encouraging each other.  All of the other women were just bouncing through the course.  I tried to push and put time into Casey, but within the last quarter mile, I just had a feeling it wasn't enough.   I didn't have enough and didn't have the well to go to.  In the end, she got me by 10 seconds for the overall Master's spot.  But really that didn't matter.  What did is that I was even slower than I was at the last race, and now I couldn't even run an 8:30 min mile!  I ran a 26:xx for a 5k, which was my slowest 5k ever in a triathlon.  

I don't know why I was smiling here.  I should have been trying to find 10 extra seconds of suffering.  ;). Also, this is the only picture where my skin is not sagging everywhere.

In the end, I was 1st AG 40-44 and 7th OA female.  I was disappointed in my run, but happy that my bike seemed to be coming along a bit.  

I left the race thinking I needed to:

1.  Get a bike fit since I had never been fit on my bike.  

2.  Fix the straw problem

3.  Run in some different shoes since I had massive blisters after wearing these again.

4.  Run?  What in the world is going on with it?  Is it the prolapse issues? (Yes, I still massively pee on myself all day and night, no matter what, and my stomach is stretched).   Is it keeping me from biomechanically getting distance per stride?  Is is the stretched out core?  No strength?  What is it???

On to the next race....

 

Race Report Catch up! Crawfishman May 2021

Race day- Crawfishman 2021- hanging out with Keith post race.

I last left off in the spring.  My new bike had been assembled.  I raced one duathlon and did decently enough that I thought I could jump into a triathlon.  It was time to rip the 5-years-off, crusty bandaid.  

I analyzed the 6 weeks leading up to Crawfishman Triathlon just to give you an idea of where I was.   My averages for the highest 6 weeks of training right before the race were:

.6 swims a week (not even 1 full swim a week!)

40 miles per week avg bike (lowest 18 miles per week and highest 54 miles per week)

18.6 miles per week avg run (lowest 3 miles per week and highest 29 miles per week)

Needless to say, I was NOT race ready.  Some of this was just that I didn't have the resources such as the pool being closed for months and months.  Other things played into this like being off of the bike for 2 years.  I just couldn't jump in and do workouts.  I had to just do some weeks of spinning for an hour, especially since after all of the time off I returned to find myself on a new bike...without a fitting!  I just had to make do.  But also, it was just that between having a baby and Covid and all of the years of not racing, I just didn't have a system in place that fostered consistency with training.  I was the mom that made sure everyone got what they needed, even if it meant I didn't get to work out that day.  

My new trisuit barely fit me.  My old trisuit didn't even fit up over my hips.  And come race day?  My wetsuit didn't really fit me either.  I just continued to view the race as an opportunity to see the following:

1.  Did I still love racing triathlon?  Did I want to be out there?

2.  What equipment did I need to replace or acquire?

3.  Where was I truly fitness-wise?

When it comes to racing, there are two ways you can look at the challenge in front of you:  

-  what do I stand to gain? 

-what do I stand to lose?

The best mindset is always what do I stand to gain.  In this case, even though I knew by reviewing my 6 weeks of training I was not ready to race, I knew I could gain a little fire for racing and some knowledge to just help me get set back up going forward.  

Race day!

Swim:   21st female.  I barely got my wetsuit on over me, but I really enjoyed being back in the water.  I have always loved swimming, even if I am not the fastest swimmer.  This was pretty non-eventful, with the exception that I could not get my wetsuit off in transition.  My time is easily a minute slower than everyone else's T1, simply because I had to sit down and really, really work to get the wetsuit off.  My postpartum body just didn't fit in it anymore.  Oops. 

Bike:  8th female.  So, I moved up a few spots.  It showed some promise that the new bike may work for me and that I still know how to mechanically do my best on the bike.  I do remember feeling really weak out there.  I wanted to push and roll those smooth pedal strokes I used to have, but it just wasn't available. And then at the end of the bike, I had a sincere thought that I probably over-biked given my fitness.

Run:  15th female.  Well, I probably did over-bike.  I also probably just have a lot more work to do in the run.  I literally could not go faster than a 9-10 minute mile for the first mile.  I was like sludge.  I got my last mile down to 7:45, but everything before that was really slow.  I think I averaged over 8:30s for the 4 miles.  It was humbling.  

There were some really terrible pictures of me at the finish line.  It isn't the photographers fault that I was still overweight!  This is the only one I wasn't embarrassed to publish.  The others I texted to my friends with an OMG, I can't believe this is me.  But, it was, and that is also just a part of the beginning of a journey.  :)

Finish:  3rd AG.  Solidly beaten by many women ahead of me.  Not satisfied with my placing, but absolutely happy to be back out there.  I felt the fire back in me to return to racing triathlon, and I felt ready to train again.  I also had a baseline for the start of the season.  

The other interesting part of the day for me was knowing NO ONE!  I had a total of 3 friends a this whole, big race.  Cynthia, pictured above, was one of them.  It really helped me to realize how long I had been out of the sport and how important engaging in this new community would be for me going forward.  

What I took away from this race:

1.  I needed to get fit on my bike-  I needed to start riding consistently, doing workouts, and up my miles.  I also needed a bike fit.  As well, I needed a way to drink on the bike, which was something I neglected to address prior to this race and just had to use the down tube bottle cage.

2.  I needed to join a Master's group, if I could.  Even if it was just 1 x week.  

3.  I needed to try on all of my outfits prior to racing the next race.  As well, I needed to make sure I used Pam spray or something like that if I had to squeeze into the wetsuit again.  

Onward I went~ 

D

Spring Racing- Come and Gone! Recap.

2021 got underway quickly, whether I was ready or not!  The overall plan for this year was geared towards helping me get back to triathlon.  This was no small task it seemed, as I haven't been able to execute this plan for the 5 years prior. 

Dudley Stadler 5k:  This was a very small, local parish 5k.  Dave won the whole thing and I just felt like I had a terrible race.  I am pretty stuck at this random low 8 min pace when I race.  I can usually gut out a mid 7s last mile, but I  just struggle to get any turnover going.  This is after time on the track, strides, hill work, etc.  I think the years off and loss of muscle have just really hurt my overall speed and pace.  

Los Islenos 5 miler: Same kind of thing going on...incredibly small race with only a small handful of people really racing in the field.  I felt the same way....  just couldn't get myself faster than an 8 minute pace going out, but then found a way to push it to a slightly faster speed  coming back in but still just hanging around the same overall pace.  I executed great racing tactics, nice tangents, when to pass and drop people, etc.  This was actually the first race I ever did where I was racing a guy to the finish line and he asked if we could tie.  I didn't even know how to respond!  I said sure, because what was I supposed to say?  Aren't we supposed to race to the finish line?  I felt great and was ready to race him in!  Well, whatever, I let us tie.  The results never got posted anyway.  

Pelican Man Duathlon:  First time racing my bike in 5 years.  I kept it conservative on the first run.  (But honestly, how fast am I right now running anyway?  Not very.).  I let the 2 women in front of me get about 10-20 seconds on me, but then I passed them with my apparently still good T1 execution.  Within the first mile, one woman passed me back on the bike.  I had my first bike mechanical of the year and could not get my bike to shift.  It went into the small chain ring and then I never got it back out.  GREATTTTTT...  Nothing like mechanical stress to welcome me back.  So, small chain ring ride it was.  I kept fiddling with the barrel adjuster thinking I could move the derailleur to get it to shift, but at some point I realized I was wasting time and energy when I just needed to focus on the ride.  It was tough mentally to let it go, but also good practice.  The race was only a 10 mile bike, so it made no sense to continue to focus on the shifting.  Overall I was fine on the ride.  Not great.  Not bad.  Avg was 20.4 ish (no chip timing), which is pretty darn slow for me, but also I felt like it was probably good for where I am as an athlete now.  I came into T2 a bit behind my competitor, had a slower transition because for the first time since I was a true beginner, I didn't leave my shoes on the bike.  I don't know what I was thinking.  Yes I do.  I was thinking I am old and need to be safe because I haven't done this in a while.  Anyways, leaving shoes on the bike is still the way to go. 

The 2nd run was interesting.  I was at the same speed as my first run, which was nice.  And I just watched body language of the woman about 15 seconds in front of me, and she didn't seem as fluid as the first run.  I thought I could maybe bridge to her, and I did at about 1.25 miles.  From there, I just sat on her back until I was ready to make my move.  I dropped probably 45 seconds on that last mile, which was a good closing mile.  Mostly I remember two thoughts:  1.  I really wanted to win this for my kids, in a way I never felt before.  They never got to see me when I raced well, and I am sad that time has passed without their part in it.  I wanted to come home with a trophy.  and 2.  I just really wanted to win.  It has been so long.  But, it really hit me that the other woman wanted to win too.  Only one of us could.  

I took the win.  It was a great feeling, but honestly it was only from having a great competitor in front of me on the day that I was able to pull that out of myself. 

And you know what?  The kids could have cared less that I won, so I guess I can't use that emotion to dig deep anymore.  

Xterra Oak Mountain 20k:  This was a hard race for me.  I signed up last year and it got postponed to this year.  It was a gorgeous course in Birmingham, and I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful venue.   But, on the 5.5 hour drive there with Isla, I realized that my sinus infection was actually really bad.  I was miserable.   I holed up at my in-laws home for the next day, with 40$ worth of Walgreens over the counter meds, trying to see if I could make the race happen.  I really knew not to race, but I made this huge trip and felt pretty disappointed.  Dave told me to try, and his exact words were "your legs aren't sick."  I kind of disagreed because my whole body felt sick, but whatever.  I did get out there and gave it my all, but it just felt terrible the whole time.  I am always grateful for my adventures, and certainly this had some silver linings just like all of the races do, but I probably could have and should have walked away from this one. But you never know until you know.  

So, here we are.  It is May in New Orleans.  It is hot and humid.  I have my first triathlon in 1.5 weeks.  Mostly I need the sinus infection to clear up, but also I am just a bit nervous about doing triathlon again.  I don't feel prepared.  I am not seeing any objective progress in any of the 3 sports.  So, I am working hard to find my purpose in being out there, especially if I am struggling to quantify my racing based on pace or time.  I think these are hard questions we ask ourselves as athletes if we leave a sport on one level and then return at a much lower level.  I am not sure what my ceiling of improvement is this time around.  Have I already hit it?  It is just a decline from here on out?  That reality doesn't seem too fun to me.  So, I going to have to keep an open mind when I get out there as to what this is all about for me.  

Peace out!  Hopefully a positive race report to come in a couple of weeks.

Bike Time

On Sunday, I rode 40 miles for the first time since 8/11/18!  I couldn't believe it when I saw that, but it is true.  40 miles is not a lot, so even though I knew I haven't really ridden in 2.5 years, it still surprised me a little bit when I calculated it.  This is the other side of mom life.  Sometimes moms put things aside for their growing families, only to realize it wasn't just set to the side...it was shoved to the back of a drawer and you didn't even know where it went.

I have a couple thoughts about this.  First, cycling is so important to overall strength, speed, and endurance in the sport of triathlon.  You need to be on your bike, and a lot.  You need to ride a lot of miles.  You need to sometimes try to ride with the fast guys.  It just really does matter that much.  So, if you want to be a good triathlete, you need to ride.

But also, you need some riding buddies. You need your people to do those long aerobic rides where you just talk.  Your people to go with you and rotate on the windy days.  Your people to wake up early and make it worth it when there is a coffee shop at the end.  

So, these are my challenges I am taking on.  Miles and friends. 

 

#KreweOfHouseFloats

This is mostly non-training related.  Here in New Orleans, it is a big Mardi Gras week.  Normally, the tourists are not quite here in town, our favorite parades have happened or are going to happen, and life starts getting crazy.  We are all still working, yet we somehow find time every night to find a spot on St. Charles to watch a parade we have seen dozens of times.  And every year it is just as wonderful as the last.

This year it is different, of course.  If you follow New Orleans news at all, you will see that the city is doing the #kreweofhousefloats since we are not able to have parades.  ***Fun fact- this idea originated in MY neighborhood, Algiers Point (2nd oldest neighborhood in the city) and it was started by a friend and neighbor of mine.  Our house float is done, and every day we get to watch people drive by and stop, smile, and take pictures.  If you are in town, you should drive by too.  Our Float is called RECYCLE DAT, and it is made out of all recycled and reused materials and trash collected from the neighborhood.  It was definitely a feel good project, and it took us a couple of weeks to complete it. 

And just in case if you are wondering if this is my Mardi Gras wig this year...nope.  I am letting my gray hair (and there is a lot of it) grow out.  My boss yesterday told me no way, and my daughter is upset that everyone will think I am her grandma.  I think I am going to be pretty darn gray when this is all over.  The process of deciding to just let your body be where it is in the aging process, including having gray hair, is is a post all on its own.  See ya next time! 

 

Filling In The Race Calendar

Lately I have been putting a lot of races on my race calendar.  Running races, duathlons, and triathlons.  If they are within driving distance, I plug them in.  Every now and then, I go and cross one out.  Like that half iron distance in May?  I will probably 100% not be ready for that.  

But, having some little sprints on my calendar is giving me a little reason...just a little something.  Like a gentle hand pushing me back into the world I love.  Because, I WANT to race again.  I love racing.  I love triathlon.  

Starting as a beginner is fun.  You don't really know what you are doing, and every race you learn so much...and the fire inside grows just a bit more.  

But starting over with beginner fitness but many years of experience in your head and heart...well, it feels different, right?  I don't really have a road map for this.  I don't have a mentor that has taken a legit and significant period of time off and then come back.  5 years is nothing to sneeze at.  How many years does it take me to get that back?  

Well, perhaps I will be that person in the future that mentors someone and tells them, "Yes, mama.  You can absolutely step away for a long time, lose your body, and lose those habits you cultivated over all of the years of swim/bike/run.  You can step away and come back!  It won't take you as long as you think, and even if it does, you will enjoy the journey anyway."

So, let's get those races on a calendar and just show up to the daily training...and then show up to the race start.  Let's see what happens.  

 

Luke: A Birth Story Part 3

Finally.  The final part. I wrote it a couple of months ago but never seemed to post it.  But, if this helps even one woman in their birthing journey, it is worth posting.

My new nurses rotate me from side to side with a big "peanut" ball between my legs.  I cannot move on my own with the epidural, but they do try some positioning to get the baby moving.  They start me on pitocin, but end up taking me off of it as I have been having consistent contractions without it.   I feel like this is a small victory, and I am a little proud of my body for doing what it was designed to do.

Dave sleeps.  My doula sleeps.  I cannot believe my husband is sleeping.  I swear he did this with Isla too.  He can't even go one night without sleep, and I am on night 5 with little to no sleep.  My water breaks and no one knows because they are sleeping.  My entire bed is completely wet, but no one has come to check on me so I am stuck in a wet bed.  (But I do feel so much better after my water breaks!).

At some point it is early in the morning.  Maybe it is 3am or so?  The nurses are super worried that if I don't have this baby by the time the doctor gets to work around 6 or 7am, I will get a c-section.  I don't know what to do.  What can I do?  The baby has not descended into the birth canal.  Nothing is moving. 

And I don't know why or how....I probably should have written about this months ago while my memory was clear.... but my contractions are excruciating.  They are so consistent I know exactly how much time I have before the next one hits.  I have never felt this much pain in my life.  Everyone is up and trying to help me.  I just decide I have to find some way to make the baby move down.  With every contraction, I strain and push with my abs, back, bowels.....EVERYTHING.   I don't have a desire to push.  It is not time to push.  But, I know I must make my body become active.  I have to make that baby move!   I hold Dave's hand with every contraction, say a Hail Mary, and scream.  Seriously.  Like a horror film.  I can't believe something can hurt like this.  How can this be the worst pain of my life when I had an epidural?  Nothing moves. Nothing changes.  Just wave and wave of pain every 1.5 minutes.  But, I spend the next 3 hours pooping on myself just trying to get the baby to descend.

I am such a character apparently, that there are 7 nurses and residents in the room watching me.  Everyone really wants to see what will happen.  Will I beat the clock?  Why is the baby not coming?  Didn't I get an epidural?  So why am I screaming?

So- about that epidural.  Yea.  I hit that button about 4 times.  They kept telling me it was pressure I felt.  No.  It was 10/10 pain.  Searing pain.  Why me?  Why does everyone else just push out their little baby, like they didn't even feel a thing?  You know, they get the epidural and the baby slides on out?  I felt every knifing moment of those hours.  

I hear the doctor is around, and I am still tearing my own guts out with every contraction.  Finally, I make him move.  I get him into the canal.  I have been crying and grinding for a few hours now.  I hear Dave try to explain to one of the nurses that I actually have a pretty high pain tolerance...that I do endurance racing....I am not a crier.  (except that at this moment in time, I am the biggest crier and weakest woman in the whole maternity ward, it seems).

And the doc walks in and I make some weak joke asking where he has been.  He looks down and sees the baby is ready to come and everything is a go.  But then he looks at me and tells me, "Damie, I need you to push him out immediately.  You need to push him out now."  The process has been too long and he is worried about the baby.  I know I shouldn't push so hard, but he scares me and just tells me to push.  I push with everything I have and I rip the holy hell out of private parts.  This is NOT what Ina Gaskin said to do.  No one provided counter pressure.  It was just a one big rip, and then he was out.  Hell ya!!!!!!

Luke Aren Roberts:  8' 11" and 21 inches.  Boy was I surprised at that size.  I cannot believe I pushed him out.  And he was sunny side up (posterior presentation) like Isla.  

Okay, but about that ripping.  Anus.  Vagina.  Labia.  Fortunately nothing more than stage 3s.  But still, they sucked.  So I am trying to hold my baby and the doctor is stitching me up.  There is a big mirror above me where he is shining the light to do the stitching, and I see a ton of blood coming out.  Then, I see him just start shoving gauze inside of me over and over again.  Then he looks up at me and says, "I can't see from where you are bleeding out.  I am taking you to surgery."  And then without waiting for help, he grabs the hospital bed and starts pushing me down the hall.

It is just surreal.  I watch all of the nurses scramble.  I wonder if I have a uterine rupture thanks to decision to have a VBAC.  When we get into the surgery room, it is like a movie.  There are like 10 people in there, and everyone has a role to play.  I am so drugged up and exhausted, I am having trouble even talking or keeping up.  They give me some more painkillers or something in my IV because what he finds is that I have an internal laceration and he could see abdominal fat coming out of the laceration into the cavity.  And that, my friends, is probably why those morning hours of labor hurt so damn much.  So he had to repair me internally as well.  The doctor told me he has not had to rush someone to the surgery room for something like that in over a decade, and he never wants to do that again.  I am positive he will never let me have another vaginal delivery again. 

Two packets of stitches on the inside and more stitches on the out...and here I am.  I still, 11 months later, wear a pad every hour of the day.  And that, my friends, is what labor and delivery looks like for me.  For a second time, it was complete chaos, despite my desire to have a natural and happy birth with a midwife at home.  I could honestly look at Dave after this baby and say.... we are done.  I do not want to go through that again.  

I can make light of it now, and I am proud of myself.  I willed every bit of that to happen with sheer determination.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  

Thank you to my loving husband Dave, my sweet, sweet Doula Gina, and my best daughter Isla for helping me through that wild experience. 

(As if I could forget, but I won't blog about this....the horrors of this hospital and their treatment of jaundice.  I got to take Isla home with "jaundice" and we were just fine- nurse, poop, pee, sunlight protocol.  Luke, oh no.  Even though he was nursing, pooping, peeing just fine...  he was taken away from me for almost 24 hours.  Worst damn day ever.  I am still mad about it.  So mad.  So much to say.  Luke, just know I love you, buddy, and I was fighting to keep you by my side.  And of course you were totally fine.  Our system has to change on these separation tactics of mother and baby.)