Racine 70.3

Back in town and another sleepless night. I have had tons of trouble sleeping lately, and my exhaustion is really running deep. The culprit is stress, of the work variety. Hopefully my brain will shut off here in a bit so I can at least try to rest. But in the meantime, I can write a race report:) However, if you want a real race report, read Tim's. My rough day was nothing compared to his.
The weekend was full of ups and downs. I was thrilled to spend time with my good friends from college, Tom and Kristin. I have never been to Wisconsin, so the travel was also a pleasure.

Milwaukee was a really great city. We explored some cool parts of town with some good restaurants and bars, as well as played at a local food/music festival.

We spent the weekend as well as slept on this boat. (which is why we all look exhausted and rough). It was so much fun to be on the water. Unfortunately I still feel like the world is rocking and I don't have all of my equilibrium back.

Prior to this race, I had a lot of red flags that my levels of stress and exhaustion were way too high. For several weeks, I have not gotten enough sleep and I have woken up in the hole. Work has pushed me to take on more than I can chew, and I unfortunately caved in to the pressure. I have had too many outside appointments to fit into my week after work, and I have been at the mercy of others' schedules. I have eaten poorly- probably from all of the above. I was blogging that I didn't feel right. I emailed Tim with my worries. I arrived to Wisconsin way behind on sleep for the week, and which was absolutely not remedied by attempting to sleep on the boat. The day before the race I literally cried at a restaurant. I was really looking forward to the race, I just told Dave I was so exhausted.

On to the race. Another sleepless night. I am standing on the beach and feel horrible. I just want to rest.

Racine 70.3 has the most beautiful swim I have ever had the pleasure to complete. From the beautiful stones to the clear water, this was the highlight of my day. I came out of the water 18th in my AG, and it was nice to see that I was not one of the only bikes on the rack:)

As I rolled away on the bike, I just didn't feel good. Immediately. Within 5 easy miles of trying to settle my HR and get focused, I knew something wasn't right. I spent the next 2.5 hours taking in all of my calories, trying to keep my HR down, backing off of the pace, and keeping positive thoughts in my head. I am generally very, very focused. Laser focused on the bike. Not at Racine. I absolutely would not give up, though. I worked the whole time on doing what I know to do on the bike. I found my best cadence, continued to try to get my HR in the right place, took in water and calories, and did not pretend that I could just "gut out" a faster ride.

Somewhere in the later part of the bike, I had 2 girls pass me in my AG. Normally I would assess the situation, keep them in sight, wait for a chance to push, etc. But, I was smart. I knew I wasn't firing on all cylinders and I did not chase. (in retrospect, thank goodness). They were standing out of the saddle at every hill and really pushing it. I stayed aero and calm, and just kept trying to be kind to my body...RPE, HR, fuel, cadence. I had absolutely no clue how fast or what my time was. I thought I was somewhere in the 2:40s for my finish. Again. Not super sharp as I am usually.

And peeps, this is a really fast course. This is a course that on your good day, you will rock. I would love to have that ride back on a different day. I was 6th AG off of the bike, but I don't know how. I can only say that I have a lot of riding strength right now which kept me going.

I even got to T2- did not realize the bike was ending-not ready to get out of my shoes- forgot to take my garmin off of my bike- forgot to grab my nutrition in T2. These things just never happen to me. I knew things were really wrong, but I fought through them the whole 2.5 hours and just tried to stay very positive.
I later realized that I had been burned to a crisp on the bike. I was slowly roasting and sun poisoning my whole back side. And this was after 2 x applications of spf 50. The picture does not do it justice- nor does it show my red buttocks.



Dave took this picture at the beginning of the run. I remember that he asks, "Are you doing okay?" That is not a normal question for him, so I thought "I must look awful- he knows I am having a bad day." I didn't want to burden him with a bad day, so I said, "I'm good" and tried to smile every time I saw him on the course.

The run was just like the bike. I had already been battling for almost 3 hours, and I was facing 2 more ahead of me. I didn't give up and never got down on myself. I just took each mile as I could. I tried to pick it up at some parts in hopes that something would click, but it didn't. I kept pushing. I kept trying. I wanted so badly to just walk. I wanted the med cart to pick me up. I wanted to stand on the side of the road and puke with everyone else.

But I didn't. I forced myself to run, even when it wasn't really a run.

This was a huge victory for me. It would have been so, so easy to turn in a 5:45 and call it a day. What was the difference between a 5:13 and a 5:45? Either way the day was not a good day for me and neither time was good, so what did it matter? One was not better than the other.

BUT, one WAS better than the other, and this is the first time in a race where that clicked for me. A 5:13 meant that I never gave up, even if I was not in the race and my body was failing.

I prayed to my sports guardian angels Mac and Chad, to get me to the finish line. I begged them- "guys, this is awful. please, please help." I have never prayed to them mid-race for this kind of favor! In all of my triathlons, I have never, ever felt this badly. It was a tough, tough day. The toughest triathlon ever for me. I promised myself if I could just finish, I would go to the med tent for fluids for the first time ever after a race. (and, I never got those fluids, as my friends promptly dragged me to a bar to watch the USA game and get beer).

Whew! So that was the story. Racine 70.3= 5:13/10thAG. The hardest day ever...way harder than my ironman. Everything else this year has been a piece of cake! It was my time to suffer:)

My friends don't let me moan and groan for long, though. :) After all, it is just a race! I have had such a good year. 4/5 awesome, awesome races, and there are more to come!

And thanks to super husband. He is a coach, cheerleader, and friend all in one.
I am ready for more. Dave and I talked a lot about the things that have changed for us in the past month and have made life very stressful. We know what worked earlier in the year, and we are getting our lives back to that place. Less stress, less travel, healthier food, more sleep, more focus, more support, and saying NO NO NO to extraneous energy drainers. I love this sport. I will take all of the bad with the good.

And, edit: because it keeps getting brought up. Yes, of course I was disappointed in the day. I am training a lot and working hard- I want it to show in the races. It was frustrating to have such a great half IM 6 weeks ago and then have such a poor showing this weekend, and on an easier course to add insult to injury. I chose a more competitive race, and I expected to deliver. I want to get to a level where I consistently perform well. In any sport, I think success can be linked to consistently performing well. The best pros in any sport play well almost every single time they step on the field/court. I am working to be that athlete. No excuses. I am always proud of finishing, but I never toe the line just to finish. If that makes any sense. :)