Just Training

In cleaning up my unfinished posts, I deleted today's post. Oops! I wouldn't even know how to start rewriting it, and my brain has already moved on. Quick synopsis:

Everyone is racing these days. Not me...just training. I do think I will try to throw down one more small race before ironman, though.

Training is going well. My week looked something like this: T-pace swims, a double run, a mid-week long bike, a treadmill 10 miler (shoot me now), a long bike/brick, and a long run. Most things are at a low HR, so they are pretty easy to complete and have quick recovery times. A few of the runs have a little more pace to them than earlier in the year, but nothing crushing. I felt pretty tired at the beginning of the week trying to juggle work, training, and recovery. But now, even after a long weekend, I feel great and ready for the next session. My body is happy and recovering well from each session.

The highlight of the week for me was totaling 47 weekly run miles. I have not seen that number since 2007.

The lowlight of the week for me was....I can't really think of one. Maybe just feeling a little isolated from the triathlon/running community. 95% of my training is solo (mainly out of necessity with work), and I have not done a local 5k or sprint tri this entire year. But really, it is no big deal. I am pretty focused on my training, and I don't mind sacrificing the little things like the races. Hugs to Alisha and Brandon for keeping me company and planning out the long ride for me this weekend.

Damie and Alisha- dinner and drinks after a day of ironman training. Nothing better!

I am not burned out. I feel great. I am really just ready to race. I have all kinds of little details to start working on: I need a new tire on my race wheel, my Garmin died, I need a spare tubular prepped for the race, I need to figure out the bike box thingy (I have never traveled with a bike), I need to figure out what shoes to wear for the race, I lost my sunglasses, etc, etc....

And that is it!!! Time to get everything ready for the work week!

Back To Work

47 days...(you too, Julia!)

Training is good! I have been recovering so quickly from racing, and I think that is a result of my increased fitness this year as well as a good plan. It was back to work quickly...100+ mile ride Sat and a ride/run with some tempo work on Sunday.

Saturday it was all about riding with the big boys. I didn't know if I would be able to push a harder ride after Racine, but with 1800 calories, S-caps, water, and great teammates, I made it happen. On a definite suicide mission, I convinced myself that it was a good idea to join my teammate Forrest on his last 100 miler labeled as a "steady tempo ride" before the Leadville 100. I was beyond intimidated when I joined the group and saw that I would be riding with Boomer, Brent, Andrew, Hart, and Bill + 3 other guys. In over my head? Yes. (and truthfully, I am just plain scared of Boomer and Brent. When I picture them, I think of pain. I purposefully avoid rides when I know they are coming. That is the truth.)

Was is awesome? Yes. 104 miles of hanging on with the boys. It wasn't easy, but it was the most fun I have had all year long. I worked hard and loved it. All of the guys kept checking on me to make sure I was okay and hanging on. Even Boomer turned around periodically to make sure I was still there. (I swear I even saw them smile a time or two). I think Boomer and Brent might have beating hearts after all. :)

Today another ride and run. Nothing special- just fighting the heat. No HR...no looking at pace. Just doing what the plan says and pushing through heat, fatigue, and any other obstacle that comes my way.

This is not really related to the post, but I wanted to share this old poster with everyone. Who couldn't use a little more motivation? Maybe you remember it? I was at a pediatric physical therapy conference this past Friday, and a presenter that has worked with numerous Paralympians had a great session on involving kids of all abilities in sports. She used this poster in her presentation. I left inspired in both my work as well as my athletic journey.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."~ Michael Jordan

Racine 70.3

Back in town and another sleepless night. I have had tons of trouble sleeping lately, and my exhaustion is really running deep. The culprit is stress, of the work variety. Hopefully my brain will shut off here in a bit so I can at least try to rest. But in the meantime, I can write a race report:) However, if you want a real race report, read Tim's. My rough day was nothing compared to his.
The weekend was full of ups and downs. I was thrilled to spend time with my good friends from college, Tom and Kristin. I have never been to Wisconsin, so the travel was also a pleasure.

Milwaukee was a really great city. We explored some cool parts of town with some good restaurants and bars, as well as played at a local food/music festival.

We spent the weekend as well as slept on this boat. (which is why we all look exhausted and rough). It was so much fun to be on the water. Unfortunately I still feel like the world is rocking and I don't have all of my equilibrium back.

Prior to this race, I had a lot of red flags that my levels of stress and exhaustion were way too high. For several weeks, I have not gotten enough sleep and I have woken up in the hole. Work has pushed me to take on more than I can chew, and I unfortunately caved in to the pressure. I have had too many outside appointments to fit into my week after work, and I have been at the mercy of others' schedules. I have eaten poorly- probably from all of the above. I was blogging that I didn't feel right. I emailed Tim with my worries. I arrived to Wisconsin way behind on sleep for the week, and which was absolutely not remedied by attempting to sleep on the boat. The day before the race I literally cried at a restaurant. I was really looking forward to the race, I just told Dave I was so exhausted.

On to the race. Another sleepless night. I am standing on the beach and feel horrible. I just want to rest.

Racine 70.3 has the most beautiful swim I have ever had the pleasure to complete. From the beautiful stones to the clear water, this was the highlight of my day. I came out of the water 18th in my AG, and it was nice to see that I was not one of the only bikes on the rack:)

As I rolled away on the bike, I just didn't feel good. Immediately. Within 5 easy miles of trying to settle my HR and get focused, I knew something wasn't right. I spent the next 2.5 hours taking in all of my calories, trying to keep my HR down, backing off of the pace, and keeping positive thoughts in my head. I am generally very, very focused. Laser focused on the bike. Not at Racine. I absolutely would not give up, though. I worked the whole time on doing what I know to do on the bike. I found my best cadence, continued to try to get my HR in the right place, took in water and calories, and did not pretend that I could just "gut out" a faster ride.

Somewhere in the later part of the bike, I had 2 girls pass me in my AG. Normally I would assess the situation, keep them in sight, wait for a chance to push, etc. But, I was smart. I knew I wasn't firing on all cylinders and I did not chase. (in retrospect, thank goodness). They were standing out of the saddle at every hill and really pushing it. I stayed aero and calm, and just kept trying to be kind to my body...RPE, HR, fuel, cadence. I had absolutely no clue how fast or what my time was. I thought I was somewhere in the 2:40s for my finish. Again. Not super sharp as I am usually.

And peeps, this is a really fast course. This is a course that on your good day, you will rock. I would love to have that ride back on a different day. I was 6th AG off of the bike, but I don't know how. I can only say that I have a lot of riding strength right now which kept me going.

I even got to T2- did not realize the bike was ending-not ready to get out of my shoes- forgot to take my garmin off of my bike- forgot to grab my nutrition in T2. These things just never happen to me. I knew things were really wrong, but I fought through them the whole 2.5 hours and just tried to stay very positive.
I later realized that I had been burned to a crisp on the bike. I was slowly roasting and sun poisoning my whole back side. And this was after 2 x applications of spf 50. The picture does not do it justice- nor does it show my red buttocks.



Dave took this picture at the beginning of the run. I remember that he asks, "Are you doing okay?" That is not a normal question for him, so I thought "I must look awful- he knows I am having a bad day." I didn't want to burden him with a bad day, so I said, "I'm good" and tried to smile every time I saw him on the course.

The run was just like the bike. I had already been battling for almost 3 hours, and I was facing 2 more ahead of me. I didn't give up and never got down on myself. I just took each mile as I could. I tried to pick it up at some parts in hopes that something would click, but it didn't. I kept pushing. I kept trying. I wanted so badly to just walk. I wanted the med cart to pick me up. I wanted to stand on the side of the road and puke with everyone else.

But I didn't. I forced myself to run, even when it wasn't really a run.

This was a huge victory for me. It would have been so, so easy to turn in a 5:45 and call it a day. What was the difference between a 5:13 and a 5:45? Either way the day was not a good day for me and neither time was good, so what did it matter? One was not better than the other.

BUT, one WAS better than the other, and this is the first time in a race where that clicked for me. A 5:13 meant that I never gave up, even if I was not in the race and my body was failing.

I prayed to my sports guardian angels Mac and Chad, to get me to the finish line. I begged them- "guys, this is awful. please, please help." I have never prayed to them mid-race for this kind of favor! In all of my triathlons, I have never, ever felt this badly. It was a tough, tough day. The toughest triathlon ever for me. I promised myself if I could just finish, I would go to the med tent for fluids for the first time ever after a race. (and, I never got those fluids, as my friends promptly dragged me to a bar to watch the USA game and get beer).

Whew! So that was the story. Racine 70.3= 5:13/10thAG. The hardest day ever...way harder than my ironman. Everything else this year has been a piece of cake! It was my time to suffer:)

My friends don't let me moan and groan for long, though. :) After all, it is just a race! I have had such a good year. 4/5 awesome, awesome races, and there are more to come!

And thanks to super husband. He is a coach, cheerleader, and friend all in one.
I am ready for more. Dave and I talked a lot about the things that have changed for us in the past month and have made life very stressful. We know what worked earlier in the year, and we are getting our lives back to that place. Less stress, less travel, healthier food, more sleep, more focus, more support, and saying NO NO NO to extraneous energy drainers. I love this sport. I will take all of the bad with the good.

And, edit: because it keeps getting brought up. Yes, of course I was disappointed in the day. I am training a lot and working hard- I want it to show in the races. It was frustrating to have such a great half IM 6 weeks ago and then have such a poor showing this weekend, and on an easier course to add insult to injury. I chose a more competitive race, and I expected to deliver. I want to get to a level where I consistently perform well. In any sport, I think success can be linked to consistently performing well. The best pros in any sport play well almost every single time they step on the field/court. I am working to be that athlete. No excuses. I am always proud of finishing, but I never toe the line just to finish. If that makes any sense. :)

Race Prep

No wonder I usually travel to all of my races solo, or with another triathlete. So far in Wisconsin, I have done absolutely nothing to help my racing cause. It is not my fault- I get overruled by all of my friends. Actually, they have even admitted to trying to find ways to make me skip the race so we can just have more fun over the weekend. Apparently they are trying the "bait and switch" approach on me- if we just bait her up to Wisconsin, we can switch her plans around.

I thought we were sleeping in a cabin on the lake. Nope, we are sleeping on a boat. No problem. The gentle rocking is only making me mildly sick.

And Tom said we were walking "15 minutes" minutes to a music festival last night. Yup. Two hours of walking later.... and an entire night of standing on my feet. I did get a chocolate covered marshmellow out of the deal.

At least they let me go to bed "earlier" than they went to bed. And I only had to listen to them party for about 4 more hours.

Okay. Saturday. I am trying to rein myself in and get prepared!!! I love my friends :)

Ready To Race?

4 days to go.

Am I ready to race? That is the question I continually ask myself right around this time.

Really, the bigger question is, am I ready to race well? Because of course I am ready to race. I haven't raced since June 4...six weeks ago, and I have so few races this year that I am looking forward to every single one of them. My mind is ready to go-go-go! But I then start to wonder...is my body?

I am asking my body to swim, bike, and run a little harder/faster than I have done in training this entire year when I go to a race. Well, a lot harder/faster in some cases! I would love to wow you guys with some cool data about how all of my 100 milers are 20+ mph and my long runs are 7 min pace, etc... but that isn't happening. They are all good and strong, relative to me, but probably pedestrian to a lot of people and certainly not brag worthy in any number-data sort of way. The long stuff has me feeling very strong, but fast? I don't have any feedback for fast.

In 2008, I remember having similar feelings when I started doing longer triathlons. Coming from road racing and sprint tris as my hobbies of choice, I was used to having a lot of feedback on paces and expected times. I was doing speedwork on the track weekly, and I could tell you exactly what pace I could/should probably hold for a 5k, etc... I was also jumping into tons of local running races on the weekend. I was constantly running quickly. I had my compass for speed. But, as I added miles to the program, I couldn't race as often and I started to lose that great feeling you have when you feel fit-fast. (because fit-fast feels a lot different than fit-strong).

As I fretted away, Jen sent me a little article from a magazine that featured Kate O'Neill on marathoning. She said she thought about me when she read it as I worried about getting slower and not knowing how fast I could race (I still have the article).
Kate wrote:

"In high school and college, I was accustomed to racing almost every weekend," she says. "Those races were a good way of measuring progress throughout the season. When I am preparing for a marathon, that one race becomes my sole focus. I can't race nearly as often. The high mileage and the long workouts do not leave enough energy in my legs for racing until the big day."

Yes, so when I am training for the half iron and iron distances, I have more miles on my legs, and my training is strong and steady, but not necessarily speed and pace oriented. And can I use the excuse that the 100+ degree heat might be affecting my pace as well? I just don't get the weekly feedback on speed. On top of that, I can't race a lot, so I don't have race feedback for confidence. So setting time goals for races right now is just a complete crap-shoot. I honestly don't know. I could be faster or slower. Really.

And it is funny how I can fret about it for a couple of days. Despite the past 6 weeks of training, I can still manage to think at times, "I am out of shape." But then I will get to the race, and the minute we line up I will forget all of that and just go with the moment. Which is why racing is so much fun- because I won't know until I do it!

A good weekend:

• 106ish mile ride Sat. Becoming a no-brainer, even when I am tired.
• New haircut. I think my head now weighs about 1 pound less. I even let the girl blow-dry my hair and style it, which made my sister and mom proud. I am generally too cheap and could really care less about the way my hair looks, so this was a big deal.
• Celebrated with Dave the eradication of our student loans with a nice dinner. (ironic, eh? to work so hard to pay off debt and then spend a lot of money on food and alcohol).
• Woke up to the grand finale of my favorite triathlete Andreas Raelert crushing the iron distance at Roth.
• 2.5 hour run in the 101 heat index of Memphis. I have let go of pace and embraced the happiness that can be found in running strong and long.
• Survived cardiac arrest with the USA-Brazil game. Shed a tear or two for one of the most amazing team comebacks I have ever had the privilege to watch. I am happy to see that fairness (of which is so limited in this world) actualized today.

I am waiting too long to post during the week, and by the time I sit down to write I have one million different topics. I keep telling myself I will post on something other than training and racing. I often wonder, do people know I actually work? I will post about work at some point, but work is actually pretty stressful, and I don't think I want to re-create that emotion on such a nice Sunday. Pediatric physical therapy is about 10x harder than any workout I ever do. I always have to bring my A game to work, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And unlike training, there are no endorphins released in my body from work.

This upcoming weekend is Racine 70.3. I would like to tell you my goals, but I haven't made any. And come to think of it, I can't tell you my goals from any of my other races because I didn't make any for them as well. Oh wait- I did make one for Rock N Roll to swim freestyle the whole time without panicking. How embarrassing. My only concrete goal for a race this year has been to swim freestyle for an entire swim. Lovely. I need someone to invent a machine where you upload your trainingpeaks, input your upcoming race, and answer a few subjective questions. In return, it provides you realistic and measurable goals for your upcoming race. :)

World Cup Strength

World Cup time!!!! Are you watching the women play? It's only every 4 years...so tape some games and enjoy:)

As I watch the women play, I absolutely fall in love with the strength of soccer players. All of the hits and falls your body takes in the game, and you just get up and keep going. You just cannot be weak and be a good player. Dave and I have been commenting over and over again how strong some of these women are. (not how lean or how great they look, but how strong)

When I played soccer, I don't remember stressing about my weight with teammates. Sometimes we complained about being a little out of shape or chunky from too much partying or not doing our off-season training, but I never had a teammate on a diet. Ever, actually. I mean, I think if ever we tried to lose 5 pounds it was to impress a guy or something. No one was ever "too big" for soccer. I think I was always working to make my legs bigger in the gym. And actually, my best season in college was my heaviest weight ever in my life. If I were to play now, I would get mauled out there.

Triathletes seem to be a different breed. I feel more exposure to body image issues in this sport than I did in soccer. I hear more comments now about so- and- so "looking great" or "getting lean" or even "gained some weight." True, weight can hurt in this sport. It is easier to run when you are leaner. I get that. We are running around in bathing suits and tight clothing. We get race pictures that sometimes give us unflattering angles. :) It is certainly easier to judge.

And the nutrition. Triathletes obsess over nutrition! I don't think this is a bad thing either, and it is the 4th discipline to our sport. But I find this sport to sometimes applaud severe food-type restrictions and obsession over losing weight by cutting back and eliminating food. I am always trying to absorb the good information about food=enhancing my performance and ignoring the message I sometimes hear that good triathletes=perfect with food choices.

But as I watch the World Cup, I am reminded that it is good to have role models in different sports and to appreciate the different beauty of all types of bodies. What is important is that you are strong, healthy, and "can play your position" or "complete/race your race." It is not about your weight or your leaness-factor. It is: can you get the job done? It is about matching your inner strength with your outer strength. And strength is not always about the number on the scale or how good you look in your kit.

Catch the US play again 7.6.11 vs Norway.

Almost Normal

I feel a little revived. It is always a good sign when I look at the training schedule and think it looks too easy.

Except for the runs...time to pick up the pace a bit. I have finally admitted to myself that not only do I hate heat, but I also hate speed work and tempo runs. I can trace this back to high school track. I would beg the coach for more miles if I could run slower. (For you soccer players out there- is that not classic center mid-fielder or what?) The funny thing is, I caught myself almost emailing Tim to ask for more miles in my week with less pace. Old dog...same trick.

In light of all of this, I have also decided that neither the heat nor faster running will kill me, and I just need to do it whether I like it or not. And the "hate" usually fades to tolerable by the 3rd repeat. I envy all of you faster runners out there that have trouble slowing down in your training runs. I am the complete opposite- need a fire under my a$$ to get moving.

Happy 4th of July. Looks to be a great training weekend. :)