A Matter Of Attitude

Last night Dave and I played in our weekly outdoor co-ed game. It is a good mixture of competitiveness and fun. The competitiveness comes from the fact that there are a lot of players out there that are ex-collegiate players and still have some things going on- and the fun comes from the fact that we are all getting old..."has-beens" if you will. Dave and I are so lucky to have the same sport that we have loved our whole life and can share together.

Like any sport, as a player you have ups and downs. I have read a lot about the psychology of sports, particularly team sports like soccer, over the past years. The thing about having a bad game is you have to find some way to pull yourself out and make do something successful. That is what separates the best players in the world from the guys that are on the reserve rosters. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, Torres on Liverpool was non-existent the whole game. But, he found a way in the second half to get himself back into the game and score an amazing goal.

Dave has been having a mental block with shooting lately. He is an amazing player with the capacity to win games single-handedly (although that is not the point of team sports, some players just have that quality). He is one of the best players I have ever played with or met- and I am not just saying that because he is my hubby:)

Anyhoo- to the point. This whole week Dave has talked negatively about his shooting. "I just can't score. I don't know what's wrong. I should've won that game for us. Wha wha wha." I always come back with something positive. "You are a goal-scorer. You rip shots that other people couldn't dream of making. You have the ability." Last night at the game, same thing. Dave starts missing some shots that he would normally put away. He says the f-word or something negative about himself. I retort with something positive. "Great shot. Keep 'em coming."

At the end of the game, I finally told him: "you're only problem is your attitude. If you want to play well, you have to treat yourself well. All of the negativity is only bringing you down mentally. Be kind to yourself and say positive things. Don't you dare make one more negative remark about yourself."

So, what are you feeding yourself? Negativity? Don't think it doesn't have an effect on your person. Spend time practicing replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. I think you will see that it really makes a difference. It really does work. Read some books on sports psychology and get yourself in that positive frame of mind. Many national level athletes practice positive self-talk before big games, meets, or races. Instead of saying "I am such a slow runner; I never get any faster." How about this: "I am running farther than I ever did last year. I am a committed runner." Think about it. Start saying great things to yourself, and I know it will pay off.

And, Dave has promised not to say one more negative thing at the game next week. If he misses a shot, he has to immediately get back on defense and start playing hard again. Him missing the goal will be replaced by him immediately working to win the ball back.

As for me, I have promised not to get in a fight with anyone next week. Yes, I exchanged some words with a guy last night after he did a slide tackle from behind on a teammate of mine and did not win the ball-it was dangerous and I was mad. But, I have promised to walk away next time. Umm, and that will be a challenge for me, but what does that say to my team if I react so negatively? Lose the negativity!!!!

Here are some old pictures from New Orleans. These are some members of our co-ed team Many Lixx Maestros. We sure did have a lot of fun. You can probably see me on the very left with long pig tails. Dave is first guy on the left-look how young! I think we were 24 here? This picture is not our whole team, just some of us from our team (along with some guest players) that played in a 7 v 7 tournament. I don't have many soccer pictures b/c there weren't really digital cameras when I played a lot. I will try to get some more recent soccer pictures and post them, though.