This is real talk- much like I used to do on this blog. But, in order to clear my mind and sit down to actually blog, the entire family has to be asleep. That time is now!
I am 40. It is such a meaningless number, unless you are struggling with muscle loss and weight gain like I am, and then it is such an important numbers. I am 40!!!!!!!! AGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night Isla and I were going to a black tie party, and I tried on my 4 favorite dresses while we were getting ready. of You know, the awesome Christian Dior dress that is a little big on me? Oh no...can't even zip it up now. I ripped it trying to figure out what I couldn't get it on me. As a matter of fact, I couldn't zip up a single one of my favorite dresses.
I am just not sure anyone here can relate! Everyone has stayed the course with racing. Everyone looks great, but more than looking great, everyone can move their body in functional ways to enjoy sport. But here I am, on my 3rd year out of racing, and 40 has hit me like ton of bricks. In the stomach and hips. Not only can I not race right now, I can't even fit into my clothes.
So, for this woman. This mother. This struggling athlete who refuses to be a has-been in this sport that is supposed to be life long, I can't fit into my clothes. And after 40 years, I am struggling with my weight. For the first time, I see my running pictures and cringe. I don't want to post them. I am embarrassed!
Whew! That is personal.
Wonder if anyone else can relate.
My solution is more lifting for sure. My solution is working with a coach again, because what I have been doing for 2 years is not working, so I need some objective assistance. My solution is working on my nutrition. (and I will save for another blog post why it is hard for me, coming from a family with a high percentage of eating disorders, to put a lot of focus on nutrition). My solution is to continue to be honest about how difficult it can be to face the changes of an aging body BUT no make excuses. My solution is to be kind to myself as I am to others.
xo
3 comments:
I am still here. However old Isla is I've been here longer. One of those weird blogging things. Time goes on, you think you know a person for a year, but it's been 5.
I can feel your frustration, and cannot even imagine the cause.
Good luck
I can relate! I lost my mojo for a while and the workouts tapered off while the fat piled on. Last year I finally decided I was sick of myself and was motivated enough to get back at it. I lost 45 pounds and jumped in some tris this summer. I'm 51 by the way, so it can still be done. The hardest thing for me was how long it took to get rid of the weight...patience is not my virtue. You can do it though!
Heidi! That is awesome feedback! So glad to hear that and it DOES make me feel better!!!!!!!!! Congrats on that huge change you made- that is significant!!!
Post a Comment