I have had to condense this post several times as it was getting out of hand. And it is still out of hand, so this will have to be a two part RR. This marathon was really more than a single day race to me, it was a point in time that followed 3 decades of running for the love of running, even when I wasn't very good at it.
And 3 decades of running history is hard to condense. And basically it just boils down to the fact that I was never an athletic or fast kid. I wasn't encouraged to be a runner. No one pegged me to play sports. I was awkward and slow. I was always one of the slowest runners as a kid, and I KNEW this as a kid. I knew I was slow. Can anyone else relate? Even in high school, I was mediocre at best during high school track, and that is probably being kind. There was really no event for me. I was not fast enough to do short events, and didn't have enough stamina or endurance to do long events. And I embarrassed myself out there constantly. I would get sick to my stomach thinking about meets and how girls would beat me by 20-30 seconds in an 800. I mean, don't get me wrong. I was a competitive kid. I was competitive on the soccer field and could hold my own. I wanted to be competitive in pure running, but the truth of it was, I just simply was not.
But I always loved to run. I read running books. I read Runners World in my public library when I was a kid. I read Jim Fixx's book when it was the only book available. I knew what I was supposed to do to be a good runner, I just couldn't physically do it.
In college, a big run for me was 2 miles. I was very proud of that. I was slow. My non-soccer friends were faster than me on runs. My roommate would kick my butt on runs, which we did of course to work off the cafeteria food. Even though I played collegiate soccer, chasing a ball for miles at a time like a big 90 minute fartlek, I was still just a slow, average runner when it came to just pure running. I was actually a little embarrassed by it, truth be told, but I plodded on.
After a soccer practice where our coach had us run 6 miles, and I was only 1 of 3 players that could actually run the full distance without walking (and I use the term "run" here lightly), I was encouraged by my cross country running friend to enter a 10k with her for fun. I did...and loved it...mainly because there were only the 2 of us in our AG so I got a 2nd place award with my pedestrian time. But I also loved it because I ran 6.2 miles! Never as a kid could I have dreamed that I could run that distance without stopping or without feeling like the slowest person out there. I entered 2 more little road races that year, and then when soccer season started back up I never entered a race again...
Until 5 years later when I decided to try to run a marathon.
I went from barely being able to run 2 miles at the time to "keep in shape for soccer" to deciding I was running a marathon. There were no races, no 5ks, no nothing. Just me, Team In Training, and some weird desire to run a marathon. And I "ran" every dang step of that marathon in 4:35, and called my boyfriend Dave to tell him that it was the "best day of my entire life." Friends, I was finally a runner.
And while a big portion of my blogging friends cannot relate to this, I know some of you can. Some of you were or are like me. Slow. Not really athletic. Want to be better.
So after that initial marathon, I still just chased the soccer dream. I didn't enter any 5ks or get serious about running. I loved my marathon experience, but I was a soccer player. I didn't start running races until a few years later. Once I committed myself to racing, I improved. I saw paces I never thought someone like me could run in my local races. I started to think I could qualify for Boston based on all of my running times. I even had some marathon success with marathon #2 and dropped 50 minutes off of my initial marathon time. And then I started having a lot of marathon bombs. Some bombs were not my fault (ie. the infamous cancelled Chicago marathon of 2007) and some were totally my fault (ie. not training and then running a marathon thinking I could hold a BQ pace just because....) After 4 marathons in 1 calendar year between 2007-2008 I was done. I never got the BQ. I didn't feel I had come close to my potential. But, I moved on to Ironman and fell in love.
And I hadn't run an open marathon since early 2008 until... I signed up for the Last Chance BQ.2 marathon. RR Part 2 to come (As if marathons need these huge race reports. Humor me :)
2 comments:
Waiting for PART 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You played college soccer so I think you are selling yourself a bit short - you just never really focused on being a runner. That is not the same as not being talented as a runner.
And I am waiting for part II as well!
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