37

37 is here.  Thank you to my friends for all of the great birthday wishes last Friday.  They were appreciated! 

 MMMmmmm!  My sister surprised me after work with a homemade banana and Nutella birthday cake.  Isla approved!  (just kidding, that kid doesn't even like sweets.  She took one bite just to make a mess, smiled, and then moved on.  I hope she always stays so resistant to chocolate, unlike her mother :)

I was on the track Tuesday finishing a workout that scared me a bit.  It was 3 x 2 miles, and I was pretty sure I couldn't hold the pace prescribed.  I was able to secure an additional 15 seconds per mile from coach to take the pressure off of the workout, and I proceeded to complete my first track workout as a 37-year-old. 

And I felt so much closer to the age of 40 than ever when I was finished.  I thought...why?  Why am I on the track fighting for these seconds?  At what age does the battle end?  Will I even get faster?  Am I just maintaining?  What is the point of all of this?  (insert mini mid-life crisis here)

One answer is "yes."  I will continue to get faster.  I am faster as a 37-year-old than I was as a 27-year-old, relative to the distance I race.  I have lost top end speed, but I am faster across all distances.  This is partly due to the fact that I was able to better tolerate running once I had knee surgery for my pesky soccer injuries in my early 30s.  I had 2.5 good years of running followed by pregnancy, which resulted in some more time off.  So, I figure I haven't put in my maximum number of healthy running years, and that is good news.  I have more in me!

The other answer is "I have no idea."  I do feel my age, and it feels older.  Not worse, but different.  It sometimes messes with my mind to think that I am still an athlete, and probably a much more serious one than I like to admit.  (Plus is sometimes makes me feel completely selfish.  Shouldn't I be working more hours, mothering more, cooking more, cleaning more?)  I still have goals, but they are a little cloudier now as I mix in motherhood and Isla.  I wonder if it is sometimes ridiculous to be 37 and put so much time into training like I do.  I do have other things I love to do, plus I have that damn soccer jersey quilt I started in 2008 and never finished.

But, I can't think of anything that gives me the same pleasure as nailing a training session, or even better, nailing a race.  My goals seem to be shifting a bit, and the "why" questions are a little different now.  That must come with a little more age and experience.  It is definitely more about the journey now and less about the outcome.  But how about a little birthday wish that I reach a few more goals and have a few more magical races in the future?  :)

So, I am 37, and still a triathlete.  I love this sport. 

#SOW