Not Crying Wolf

I am starting the post off with a happy picture, because we all need a little smile. Oh, the things my poor husband tolerates. :)
I have delayed this post for 4 weeks because I was in denial and didn't want to cry wolf too soon. But, since I am up again in the middle of the night, again, I might as well take this sleepless opportunity to write about my injury. Now that I am admitting I have an injury. I feel like such a loser.

Yes, I said it. I am always smiling about how I am never injured anymore now that I don't play soccer. Eliminate the 200 pound guy for me to tackle and I seem to stay healthy.

4 weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night with the most excruciating pain I have ever felt... in my shoulder of all places. It was terrible. What did I do? It was fine when I went to bed? I hadn't felt a thing in any of the swimming I did all week? How could I have torn something in my sleep?

It was just awful. Over the next few days, my shoulder started to sublux frequently (which is like a partial dislocation to my non-medical people). And you know what? A subluxing shoulder hurts. Bad. I couldn't sleep (and still can't, obviously)

My guess was..rotator cuff. There was absolutely something wrong with it, but I just didn't have a mechanism for injury. Swimming would be the obvious answer, but I never felt any pain swimming.

And this is a long story cut way short, but after finally going to see two doctors, the conclusion is a brachial plexus injury/inflammation....originally thought to be a c5/6 cervical issue. But, I was not having any cervical symptoms. So.....with some further exploration....

A probable case of Parsonage Turner Syndrome. And the creepy thing is, I was sick the night this happened with fever, infection, and feeling like total crud.

Whoopee. I should be good to go in 1-2 years according to the literature.

The physical therapist in me is having a really hard time with this. Give me muscles and bones. Give me something with which to work, please. Don't give me some sort of nerve injury that I can't treat.

4 weeks later and I can't externally rotate my own arm against gravity. Actually, I can't even go full range gravity eliminated. My infraspinatus has checked out for a while. So, I am having trouble with the little things. I can't fully lift my water bottle on the bike to my mouth, I can't catch a door, and I can't

swim.

Because I don't have the muscle function to get my arm out of the water for the recovery phase.

So, that 1.2 mile swim I have in 2 weeks and that 2.4 mile swim in 6 weeks is looking pretty daunting right now. That is putting it lightly. Who am I kidding... this sucks.

I have not given up. The doctors have told me that they feel strongly that everything will come back with time- they just can't tell me how long. There is no exercise I can do to promote this. When my muscle is able to be strengthened, I can strengthen it. Until then, I just have to be positive and hopeful.

On a happy note though, I do have all of my range of motion and some muscle strength in other muscles. :)

I am going to see someone for ART, because in my mind, I want to make sure there is absolutely nothing compressing the nerve at the c5/6 level anywhere in my cervical or scapular area. I am not sold on Parsonage Turner Syndrome as a diagnosis, although today I was told that is part of my denial. But, whether or not I agree on the exact diagnosis, I finally have come to terms with the fact that it is a nervous system injury.

I am starting to go back to the pool and at least kick. I have gone from not being able to swim 1 single stroke to now swimming 50-100 yards x 2-3 with compensation (which I know is not cool, but I have to try something!). But, it is improvement. Last week nothing. This week swimming some lengths.

Today when I walked into the pool area, I almost threw up. It was just that moment where the realization that you are injured completely hits you. What am I going to do? Breaststroke the whole race? Well, yes. That is one plan. The other plan is just to stay really positive that I can get enough muscle function back to complete most of the swim freestyle. I wish it were more in my control, but it is not.

The true beneficiaries of my injury are the dogs. They are more than thrilled to have me hang with them on the couch at 2am in the morning. My running and cycling is also benefiting from the loss of the swim.

I do not want to start in that mass of 2000 people not being able to swim. I already panic enough in the water to not need any other swimming obstacles. Please, please just let this heal and give me a chance to swim!!!!

Okay, and to top if off, Dave ALWAYS has to one up me. ALWAYS. A week after my left shoulder went south, he went snowboarding and completely separated his left shoulder with a grade 5...the type that generally requires surgery (we find out Wed). Ahhhh $$$$$$$$$$ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would be so frustrated with all of this if it wasn't so comical. They say that married couples start to morph into each other, and that is completely the case with the two of us.