Redirect

The decision was tough, but it was right.  I am going to cancel IMLOU.  I think I did everything I could with rest, severely under-training in the hopes of feeling better, and keeping faith that I could still go out there and have fun even if I wasn't iron-fit.  But, in the end, being sick for so long was just too much to ask my body to overcome.  All of the antibiotics, steroids, and just general loss of fitness did a good number on me.  I was very tired of struggling through workouts feeling so poorly and knowing things weren't right.  I don't have to be perfectly fit to do an ironman (point in case, IMTX), but I do need to be healthy, and that I am not.

It was unfortunate and poor timing to get sick when I did and for it to last as long as it has.  But, it is all part of sport!  I can reflect on things I could have done differently after IMTX.  I can also just appreciate the fact that sometimes we get sick.  I work in healthcare with sick people.  It is going to happen.  Everything will roll around again to good.  :)

A huge thank you to my husband.  He always knows how to give the best encouragement- pushing me to be a better athlete, consoling me and helping me redirect when a change in plans needs to happen, and never batting an eye when I drain our bank account with nothing to show for it.

I have hardly been sad, though, when I have so much other awesomeness around.  My bike rides have been replaced with slow walks with Azumi!!!!!I have done zero training, and tons of dog walking since making the decision. 

Azumi is a beautiful girl.  She is quiet, patient, and obedient.  She makes Rooney and Cayenne look like the worst dogs ever. 

She is putting on a little weight and starting to look a little healthier!   I have been concerned someone in the neighborhood was going to call the cops on me when they saw me walking her around. 

I work with a lot of dogs at the Humane Society.  When I tell you that Azumi is a GREAT dog, I mean that.  I love a lot of dogs, but they are not all easy.  This dog is a dream.  If you know someone interested in a quiet, loving, very easy-going American Bulldog mix, please send them this way.  I would love to find her a home before she ends up in the chaos of a facility.

This is a little video of her- horrible directing and acting by me.  And, if you haven't ever heard my voice over the phone or in person,  you are in for a shock.  "Country" doesn't even begin to describe it.

A DNF and Some Hard Knocks

Overdue non-race report.  Getting your first DNF doesn't really make for great blogging motivation.

Not too many pictures from the race since I only finished the swim!!!!

Everything started off relatively okay.  I was 10th from last on the start list in a time trial start, which is never good for me.  I should have emailed the RD and asked him to move me up.  I knew it would be tough weaving through people....and now I know, not only is it tough, it can be a little unsafe on roads open to traffic.  But anyways, I started at the back, and had what was for me a solid enough swim.  I have been able to swim more consistently.  The shoulder diagnosis is still Parsonage Turner Syndrome, and I did have an MRI and EMG to confirm the nerve damage.  I still have a lot of atrophy, but I am able to swim without pain so I do.  It is a lot better than it was 3 months ago, so I was super happy to make my way through the swim and feel like I was going forward. :)

 Fellow Wattie Ink Teammate Chuck Rose- I was looking forward to crushing the race with him.  He did his part- 2nd OA!!  I fell a little short on my end (no pun intended....:)

I was working my way through the bike and really trying to push myself.  Having not done a short race in a year, I knew I would have to try extra hard to get into that pain zone.  The ride seemed to be going as expected....not feeling spiffy and not used to going "fast," but I was passing people and making up ground.  The short version of the long story is I crashed out on a curve about 4 miles from the finish- and I found out that a guy had clipped me from behind.  I just wasn't really sure what happened as one minute I was riding hard, and the next minute I was sliding across the highway.

I had the good fortune to go down in front of a bunch of firefighters.  Rescue by firefighters is a good way to DNF.  :)  It hurt, but I was fine.  Nothing broken- brain intact.  I tried to get back on the bike and just finish, but the bike had some crash issues with the brakes and derailleurs.  I couldn't get the wheels rolling right, so I ended up hitching a ride (from a firefighter, of course:)  to the transition. 

I was extremely sad to not finish.  I got a little choked up for a minute, but I just talked myself through the process.  What am I supposed to learn from this?  As I made my way to meet my friends, I came up with 3 things for me.

1.  When I crash and can't figure out how to get to the finish line, sit down for 10 minutes and let my head clear before calling it a day.  I might be able to fix my bike or better assess my body damage if I just wait a few minutes.  I was in such fight or flight mode, it was either ride NOW or the day is over.  I might have been able to find a way to roll my bike in if I gave a lot of extra time to relax.  I really don't want DNFs.  They don't feel good.   

2.  Ride as defensively in a race as you would on the road.  (which I don't- I am balls to the wall and just focused on point A to point B as fast as possible).  I might have been able to stay out of trouble if I had been more aware of the guys that were behind me/beside me/wherever they were.  I can't even tell you because I just remember being pissed off some guy was right up on me.  So, safety first- stay out of trouble- then get away from it. 

3.  This stuff is hard.  Life is hard.  Triathlon is hard.  Don't give up.  If you ride and race enough and hard enough, you will have wrecks, bad days, and other.  Smile, congratulate everyone, and sign up for the next race. 

This weekend I rolled from Memphis to Oxford, MS with a small but hilarious group.  Early in the ride I was ready to hold a gun to my own head....100 + miles in 100 degree heat with 3000+ feet of climbing and no shade.  Somehow I kept a smile on my face.  But, can anyone pick out the athlete in the picture above that bailed at mile 90 because it was really that miserable?  LOL!  Good times. 

The finish in Oxford.  I rewarded myself by buying two new dresses.  You know how those Ole Miss girls have to wear a dress to every football game.  There are plenty of boutiques in the town square :)

Well, and I had to reward myself again with a margarita.  :)

So, ups and downs.  I have to tell you, I am tired.  My body has not snapped back from being sick, and everything is a struggle right now.  Short, long, fast, slow...it doesn't matter.  I am trying to stay cheery, but I am really frustrated.  I have worked through mental and training fatigue many times, but I have never had to work through residual sickness that just zaps everything.  I have all but pulled the plug on IMLOU.  I struggled so much to ride 100 miles.  Heck, I am struggling to ride 1-2 hours.   I am struggling to run 6 miles.  I am struggling to enjoy it all and maintain a positive attitude.  This has definitely not been my year form banging out the results, but true to form, I keep pushing forward.  The question now is....keep pushing or rest?  I have never been one to quit on things when I sign up for them.  But heck, the fact that I am strongly considering a DNS is a red flag to me that something is wrong.  Is it quitting or taking care of myself?  Is this mental or physical or both....and can it turn a corner for me?   

to be continued....

Sharing Some Love

I need some help naming her.  My suggestion is Azumi.  It means "safe residence" in Japanese, so I think it would be good fortune for her to have a safe residence, and maybe she can bring safety to a residence as well.  Dave and Bekah both said the name is stupid.  Does anyone have any suggestions?

On Tues, I begged and used all of my volunteer power and coercion to get her a spot at the Humane Society, which is always completely full.  Because she was so starved and has signs of abuse (pressure sores from being forced to sit in one spot, probably in urine as well as broken teeth from possible trying to gnaw out of a chain), the Humane Society felt she was appropriate for their mission.  Until then, I am going to foster her for about 10 days. 

She has been the sweetest dog ever.  We snuggle and go on short walks. I think she might be part American Bulldog?  That is my guess. 

The brown stuff on her coat is actually dried little specs of blood from the hundreds of fleas she had on her.  When I first found her, her stomach was black, and I thought it was mud or something.  Then, I saw all of the movement and it was hundreds of fleas!!!!  Ahghhhh!!!  (Dave loves it when I bring fleas home, let me tell you).  I already gave her flea meds, so maybe we can do a bath on Saturday.  I think she is going to be beautiful.  

Her job is to eat, rest, and be happy. 

And then eat some more. 

And keep being happy!!!!!

Okay, if you have some good names for her, send them my way.  If Azumi gets a few nods, then I am going to veto Dave and Bekah  Lunch time with the dogs is over....back to work.  :(((((