On the road again...

Michelle Bingham and I are going to the Trail of Tears triathlon. I have had my eye on this race for a while for no other reason than it is the Trail of Tears. Supposedly I have Cherokee Indian in me from my father's side, so I feel drawn to this race. I hope to feel a good connection with my inner spirit and life tomorrow. :)

These are pics from the last race with Michelle...loaded up...

Bright and early...time to race...
Whoo hoo! Done! Now wasn't that fun!

I am sure this weekend will be more of the same- fun!! I can't think of a single triathlon that has not just been a blast one way or another. I must have good friends :)

But heavy on my mind is Curt Arthur...a cycling accident has placed him in the ICU. His wife has been one of my best training partners as of late- so good in fact, she called me Thurs at 6:20am in the ambulance to tell me she would not be able to make our running drills session. She is dedicated, loyal, and a good friend. And so is Curt. They are my neighbors and friends...people that I see almost every single day. His condition is very serious right now, so please keep them both in your prayers. Every little prayer will help.

After a tough re-entry to soccer this week (previous post), I came across this post by Kara Goucher. I thought this was a very well-written post regarding Adam and his injury/surgery/retirement decisions and struggles. Ideally, we all want to be able to gradually leave our sport, but it doesn't happen that way for all of us.

I have had an enjoyable weekend thus far- the kind where I have not planned too much and have been able to relax. After a great bike ride this morning, I spent the day reading and napping. I know that I don't take enough time for myself to relax and rest. I told Dave today that I felt "tired." His response was that I am "always tired." I am!!! I am always tired!!! So I am giddy thinking about Sunday morning because I am sleeping in baby!!!!

And my Saturday night at home? LSU football with Dave and the doggies. Ughh that was a hard game to watch.

Look at little Cayenne pouting on the couch- she was mad because Rooney got in mommy's lap first.

The Emotional Athlete

After 6ish soccer games in 2 years, Dave signed me up for the fall co-ed season so we could spend more time together and spend our remaining soccer years together. Okay, so I could have said "yes" or "no", but instead I waffled and waivered....thus forcing him to make the decision. How convenient for me as I can now blame him if it doesn't work out. I am starting to understand how my own little brain works.

So far I dread going to the games and I am playing horribly. I know that playing poorly is a product of 1. lack of confidence, 2. no practice whatsoever 3. no lateral or cutting strength, and 4. swim/bike/run/work/stress/no sleep/let's try to fit in a soccer game at 10pm.

Do any of us expect to show up to a triathlon after 2.5 years of no swimming, biking or running and do well just because we did it for years? I mean, our bodies know what to do, but do it well? yet I expect that in soccer?

So then I stay up till midnight thinking about how poorly I played and feeling bad about myself, and say mean things about myself, and treat myself poorly. I decide that soccer is bad for my self-esteem. (instead of deciding to just practice a little bit).

And I am usually pretty cool to myself.

So, I have to wonder why my self-esteem is so easily influenced by soccer anyways? I think many athletes could probably identify with this. Why do I choose to like myself less or think less of myself as a person because at age 32, post 2 x injury and life changes, I don't play as well as I did at age 25?

And Dave reminds me that we are out there to spend time together. And I have such great responses such as "but I suck so it isn't fun and more verbal garbage...." And me, me, me, ego, ego ego. Boy I am such a gem of a wife sometimes.

Do you guys have a sport that makes you an emotional athlete?

I don't carry this much emotional baggage around with triathlon. (thank goodness- let's keep it that way).

The funniest part about it is- for the past 2 games, I have fallen asleep at midnight and had to jump out of bed the next morning at 5am for the speed work sessions with "Team Cowden". I have been so mad at the soccer games and at myself, that I have run my best 4 x 1 mile repeats and 6 x 800 repeats in 2 years. All on pure frustration. I never knew that pissing myself off could translate into athletic gains.

So to make up for being such an egotistical jerk of a soccer playing wife, I made dinner tonight and I am going to show up to the next game ready to rock or suck- but not be a downer.