Back From The Break

I just finished a 3 week "no running break."  After talking with my good friend Charles about the same things I have been talking about for 2.5 years, he suggested, again, that I stop running for a while.  He reasoned I just needed a break from the sport for some motivation to return.  I 100% disagreed, as I have never felt burned out or unmotivated.  

BUT...  what the conversation did spark for me was the realization that I have not treated my injuries like injuries.  I give them 2-3 days off.  Maybe a week.  Then I run again.  But I don't consider it training because it is slow and the mileage is so low.   I justify it because I am doing so very little.  I feel like I can't take a break because I am so out of shape I just can't afford to sit out.  I don't want to get any slower.  I want to keep pushing on.  So, it feels like I have taken a ton of time off, and I HAVE.  But I have not taken the consecutive weeks off that I have needed to take off in a long time.  

I had to think about myself as a physical therapist.  What would I tell my patients?  How do I treat injuries?   Can I be more objective with myself instead of desperate?  

So, I had 2 weeks completely off, with a 2 mile "race" sandwiched in between (only because we were already committed)  1 more week completely off and then 1 week of mostly walking with jogging of .25 to 1 mile distances, progressed as if I were injured or coming off of surgery.  You know, like I actually used to do.  So, basically a month off.  

Let's chat about that 2 mile race in the middle of my rest break.  

It sucked.  I ran with no watch, which was great.  I don't want to see the slow time.  I don't want to worry about it.  I just do what my body can do.  What is my new normal is to be able to run for about 3-5 minutes at about 8 min pace (I think)  feeling okay, then feeling terrible...mostly like death or cement.  Every time I run and even get close to trying to pick up the pace I feel like my body is having some cardiac event.  I feel my body completely shutting down.  This day was no different.  

 Me, about .25 into the race, waving to Isla and feeling like if I can just run easy like this I will be okay.  

Me at the finish line.  I basically just struggled for most of the run and really could have just dropped out after a mile.  I forced myself to not jog to the finish line.  I finished with my slowest pace of the year, and I only had to cover 2 miles.  I was so happy to be done.

This past week I met with the hematologist after some (good) pressure from my internist.  There was some concern after looking at blood work and my recent 2 year history of downward performance and feeling terrible that my family history of hemochromatosis had extended to me.  My iron absorption rate and red blood cell size has been flagged for several years.  I was hoping to finally have some answers.  I did not get what I was looking for, but the hematologist said he didn't think I had the disorder, which was good news.  Not that he could truly tell without a liver biopsy or some other expensive work ups, but he didn't feel overly concerned with my blood work.  Nor did he know what was making me feel so badly.  But, after sitting in a waiting room full of cancer patients, I felt pretty grateful he sent me away with a good luck wish and nothing more.  

The great news now is that for the past 3 walk/jogs I have had way less pain running so I may be on the right track, at least orthopedically.  Without making this blog post too long, I'll update it as the weeks go on to see if I can get back to running, cycling, triathloning, getting fit, losing my extra pounds that came to be at 40, and just enjoying the journey.

Peace!