Strava?

In 2012, I signed up on Strava as part of Team Wattie Ink because the whole team was on it as a group, but I never had any intention of using it.  The whole premise sounded ....well...exactly like it is.  Posting your training to compare to others to be competitive even in training.  Barf.

So not me.

The account has been inactive since I signed up.  I didn't even know what a segment was.

When I met some riding buddies here, they insisted I get on Strava so we could plan group rides.  I activated my account and well, it is exactly as I thought it would be!

- I still think it is weird  douchey to post all of my training.  Who cares?  And I don't want to see everyone else's either!  (I added someone as a friend the other day and instantly regretted it.  Do I really care how/when that person trains? No, I don't!  Is it going to hurt people's feelings if we aren't "friends?")  I train and race for my own personal goals.  I just have never been into this.  I don't post my training on Facebook or social media either.

- So I notice people go out on really windy days to get a tail wind assisted QOM/KOM.  What is the value of this really?

- Or a big, meaty group ride would probably do the same.  Just hang on to really fast people for a crown.

And what I thought it wouldn't be that I like.  

- I can find new riding places.  When I see people have ridden in a certain area, it helps me feel confident I might be safe there.  This is awesome for a new city.

-I have met new friends through it that I recognize on the road.  This has given me some new riding opportunities.  Or, like the guy the guy that completely ignores me.  I saw him tonight and know who he is, thank you Strava!

- I can communicate with other riders on where/when to meet.

- I like that I have a training log with a map, HR, etc.  I don't have a premium Training Peaks account anymore, so this is nice to see.

- It is kind of fun to find out who rides here.  Who are the girls?  (I don't know any of them).  What are the teams?

So, Strava, on a limited basis, is kind of fun.  But the reality is the real KOM/QOM aren't even on Strava and have ridden every segment faster than we ever have.  So for me, probably like every other bit of social media, I'll sparingly post on it for a while and then forget about it.  But until then, you will see be on there a few times ...riding the same ol' route by the river...literally.  

My Motley Riding Crue

I am determined to get this dying blog up and running, as if it is somehow connected to my actual training and racing.  REVIVAL all around!!!!

I had almost a year off of riding in 2016.  Prior to the Nola move, I was having some fit issues I could not get resolved.  Then we were in the process of moving so I wasn't riding anyways.  And that was followed up with my bike being stolen.  And, there you have it.  2016 was not my year to ride.  

2017.  New bike and new year.  I wanted to be motivated, but I found myself sad that I just had no where to ride and no one with whom I could ride.  One day, I was riding the same 4 mile road by myself when I saw 3 guys going the opposite way.  I waved them down..."WAIT!!!!!"  and then turned around to catch them and begged them to let me ride with them.  I am sure I said something like, "I know I am out of shape but I used to ride and I need friends and more and more run on sentences please let me ride with you!"

And that was the start of my new riding group.  In order to ride with them, they insisted I use Strava.  (Which I think is so stupid and I will save that for another post, but apparently I am on it now.)  Our group consists of 6 people:  all over 40 or 50, 2 black guys, 2 hispanic guys, 1 guy with diabetes, range of riding experience 4 months-2 years, one steel bike, one guy with no helmet, and one guy with a bike too big.  And me.  My Motley Bike Crew- different and awesome.  Each guy with their own amazing contribution to the ride.  

And I EFFING LOVE IT!  I come home so happy, and Dave is amazed at what a difference I am having riding my bike now.  You know, I just like good people!  I am aging.  My goals are different.  And I like these guys.  I love the diversity.  I love that these guys ride almost every day and LOVE it- and they have nothing to prove- they just ride to ride.  These guys are cool.  These guys are nice.  These guys are always looking to get faster but in no way are looking to beat each other (or me) up.  

I am at about 3 x week now on my bike.  I am getting fitter.  I am loving it.  I am getting the itch to race.  I am grateful!!!!!!

3am Post

Another sleepless night- guess I can catch up on my blog, if that is possible!  First, let me just put some pictures of Isla in here straight away.   It is hard to believe that in just 2 short months she will be 4-years-old .  I cherish this little girl so much, and I mean cherish.  I just snuggle her at night, breathe in her little girl smell, and thank God for giving me such a gift.  As hard as the first 2-ish years were as the parents of a baby that cried and screamed constantly, the past year has been pretty amazing.  Being Isla's mom is awesome.

 #NOLAlife  Hanging out with Isla at French Quarter Fest

 I was only able to convince her to wear this dress because it had whales on it.  Otherwise, she only wants to wear pink dresses that twirl.

 Easter party dance floor fun

 And it is time for us to hit the pool again!

 Isla and her friend Claire are hot messes almost every single day by the end of school.  They like girlie things, but these two love getting dirty as well.  

This is Isla and her best friend Mary.  I didn't know it was possibly to have a best friend at 3-years-old, but it is.  

So, I literally didn't sleep tonight, although I let myself toss and turn for 4 hours.  This has been happening a lot lately, and I am not sure what to do about it.  If I take melatonin to help me sleep, I probably won't want to wake up to run in the morning.  So, it is a catch-22 as I need have both sleep and exercise in my life.

Part of the reason I haven't blogged is I just don't even know where to start.  I don't know how to put it down in words?  I have not given up on triathlon, but it has given up on me it seems.  I am still putting myself in a place every day to improve, but I am not seeing any results.  Not a single bone thrown my way to help me see some positive things in my future.

Bike:  I have a new bike and a non-aggressive new fit to get me started again.  I am riding 2-3 x week- maybe 60 total miles?  I have met a couple of friends.  I don't have a training group, but I do have 2-3 guys that will pedal with me.  My HR is really low on the bike for me, and I am having trouble bringing it up.  Most rides are Z1-Z2.  Even pushing it as hard as I can, I have only made it to about 165 HR.  For comparison, I used to easily hold 170 for over an hour in a race.  So, to barely be able to get 1 minute at 165...there is so much work to be done.

Run: 27 miles, 26 miles, 30 miles are my last 3 weeks.  This mileage, while it used to be very light for me for many years, is now hard.  My posterior tib tendon has had tendonitis for the past year.  It hurts.  I need to treat it more aggressively and I haven't.  My running is slow.  I can't hold a tempo run at all.  8:30 min miles are tempo to me now and I can barely do 1.  Gina and Charles want me to do a fall marathon with them desperately.  I want to as well, but I just won't go out and run a 4++ hour marathon and put my body through that if I can't turn this around and see some sort of progression.  So, my goal is to keep trying to sort this out in order to be able to run with my friends.  I am going to the track, and even though I am running the same times I ran as a pregnant runner, I am trying.  I am not sure I need anymore exclusive low HR training as I have done that for the past 2 years with zero results.

Swim:  0-1 x week by myself.  Sad and lonely.  I still love to swim, I just don't have a group anymore.

I don't want to get a coach until the health issues are sorted.  I got tired of the start/stop process the past 2 years.  It was not the coach's fault- it was truly that every time my mind and heart were motivated, but my body wouldn't cooperate. I never made it to start lines and could never get training off of the ground.  And you guys know me- I am all in on training.  If I can't be, something is wrong.

And that is what I have to keep telling myself.  It is easy to beat myself up and think I have "let myself go."  But really, that is not my personality at all.  I am a committed person, and I have to remind myself of that.  I have been getting up daily and training for years, even recent years, so I haven't gone anywhere but to work.  I have to give myself a hug and remind myself that when things get righted, this ship WILL sail.  I am not a quitter.  I am not a half-ass athlete.  This is not a symptom of my athlete personality, although it is easy to point the finger at myself and attack myself as a lazy mom.  But, no one who knows me would ever peg me for that, so my job is to keep trying until I crack this thing, and then I will be back in business.

The next step for me is OBGYN.  After 2 years of muscle loss, a non-responsive body to any type of training, and NO BABY, it is time for this 39-year-old to get her hormones checked.  I attempted this twice already, but the practitioners didn't take me seriously.  No one listens to the adult weekend warrior that knows something is wrong with her body because she runs 4 min/mile slower than she did months before.  But, now that I have been 2 years of trying for baby #2 without getting pregnant, I think someone will listen.

Race schedule:  I have penciled a few things in, but have committed and signed up for nothing.  I was of the mindset of "racing myself into shape" as I did post knee surgery in 2010.  It worked really well when I did that!  But, I am not sure that is the right strategy right now.

You know what scares me?  The fact that for the first time in my life I am not even sure I could run 2-3 miles faster than an 8 minute pace.  That is a bit of what holds me back from racing.  And it is not the threat of a poor clock time that bothers me as I have always been willing to run slow if it takes me to the next step.  It is the feeling that I get when I am out there where I feel so weak during my attempts to push myself.  It is such an odd and ugly feeling as if I am gaining nothing, not even fitness.

Hope this doesn't come across as whining.  After 2 years of dealing with this, the whiney phase is over.  But, I do feel a disconnect socially with the sport, but I am internally just as connected as before.  I just want to explain my absence but let you know I still love to race (or would love to race!) and haven't just given up completely on this sport I love.