August 2016

Life is good.  Not great, but good.  I have a borrowed bike.  It is too big for me, but I am making it work and I am so so thankful.  Things don't have to be perfect for you to be successful.  I have amazing friends.  I am definitely finding my way in Nola and loving my time here.  Training has been awful, as it has been for 9 months now.   And while I have had 2 accomplishments this year in the finishing of the Boston Marathon and a 50 miler, I cannot say I have raced a single thing.  I can hardly SBR, and for months now everything has been such a struggle, even at the slowest paces.  I really want to race.  Anything.  ANYTHING!   I have even looked on line at super sprints, but to be honest, I don't think I can run 2 miles faster than a 10 minute pace, and I think to myself....what will that do for me?  Dig me in more of a hole?  Why does my body hate me?

Dave continues to tell me it is time to get this checked out.  I agree, but where?  Who?  Try to find someone that works with athletes and Epstein Barr Virus, I dare you.  I am pushing forward but really struggling.  I am back to that place where I have to start to question if even easy training is too much.  I promise I am taking a bird's eye view to this all....to these 4 years of struggle...because I know that there is more good to come and this will just have been a puzzle for me to figure out, which is what we do in life.  The only problem is I am running out of time to race this season.  If I don't race, it is not the end of the world.  I will be sad.  I will definitely excuse myself from my teams that depend on me to race, because I am not able to uphold my end of the deal.  

In the meantime, I am looking for some serious cleansing plans.  If anyone has done anything for intestinal cleansing, EBV, yeast, infections, whatever....pm me.  Please.  Months of easy training is not doing the trick.  Before I have to completely sit out again with zero training for a couple of months, I would love to give this thing one more punch in the face if anyone has some suggestions.  

Life rolling on.... :)  

 I had my 20 year high school reunion last month.  Of course, I had nothing to wear, so hours before the event, I was trying on dresses and texting my sister for her approval.  This was the winner.- $30 thank you very much.  And then I bought shoes literally on the way to the event- in the sale section, thank you very much again.  Some things NEVER change.  

 Isla is quite the photographer of the family.  She LOVES taking photos, and I love looking at life through her eyes.  This is her view from the backseat.  

 Isla has been in gymnastics camp.  This was my first day of dropping her off.  (tear drop!)

 And she wants to wear "twirly" dresses to gymnastics.  Ha!  This is the day she would not drink water out of her cup because she told me it would "take off her lipstick (chapstick)."  WHAT?  whose child is this?

 Oh, the end of week performance.  I had THAT kid that refused to do anything, completely melted down and was crying, and had to be carried off.  Dave and I wonder....is it that she is not interested?   Is she too young?  (which, she is one of the youngest, but definitely there are 3-year-olds having fun out there). Was she just hungry and tired?  or is our kid the defiant one that will just not do what is asked of her?  It feels like such a parenting fail sometimes.  But then, we just have to shrug and let her be her.  I guess.  Parenting can be really hard sometimes-  not the day to day of it, although that is hard too.  But the psychological part of it...letting little people develop while setting boundaries.  Tough!  

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And then sometimes she is having a complete blast :)  

 Isla and her neighborhood friend, Tre.  

A girl and her dog :)