Playing in the midfield

I will one day write a book on how the game of soccer replicates life.  There is a reason it is the best game in the world.  If you are not watching the Euros right now, then you might have no clue what I am talking about.  But, you just might.  If you are not a soccer fan, you might just skip this post.  But, if you get how sport mimics life and personality, read on!

Dave and I were doing some reflection on our life (not lives, because like he says, he doesn't want to be a co-star in my show.  What can I say?  I am a first born, after all....wasn't everyone created for my enjoyment?).  We fortunately always come back to the same conclusion after these heartfelt discussions.

We want to live our lives like a center midfielder or defender.  For the sake of this post, I will leave it at center midfield. 

This has nothing to do with the soccer field, although all of our life lessons might have been learned on the pitch.

- You were a person that didn't pass the ball?  You are probably selfish off of the field too. 
- You don't hustle?  We wouldn't hire you to work with us at the office.  You make it harder on everyone else. 
- You blame others for your bad pass?  You can't own your mistakes.
- You think you are better than your teammates?  You are the worst kind with poor self-reflection.

So, in theory,  a center mid-fielder does much of the hard work with little glory.  They are never satisfied with flashy plays with no substance.  They are willing to run more, hit harder, and do the little things over and over again to have a good TEAM result in the end.  Most people never see their good plays or give them credit for the game- that all goes to the wings, forwards, and the goal scorers.  The good midfielders and defenders that hold the game together rarely get "player of the game" or "MVP."

You know these players in life and in your chosen sport.  They are the people that are sometimes overlooked.  Maybe they constantly get 2nd or 3rd to the superstar.  The might receive little extrinsic reward, but you know that they are the ones that appreciate the occasional taste of success because they have worked so hard.

Dave and I want to live our "life" where we work harder and find happiness intrinsically.  Because we aren't the kind of people that are satisfied with extrinsic awards.  We don't want to be the kind of player that plays terribly but still scores a goal and feels satisfaction with the result.  We want the process to be a labor of love...of hard work and relentless practice to become better.  This applies to our lives, our families, our marriage, our work, and our athletics.  

I find myself being extremely judgmental when it comes to social media.  I see so many athletes needing external praise and validation through facebook, and I feel so frustrated.  It is the typical "forward" syndrome in soccer.  "Look at the goal I just scored!  Aren't I good?" "I just ran 10 miles at 5:30am at world record pace before you even got out of bed.  Look at my trophy.  Please press like."

The best part of being married to a non-triathlete is that Dave calls me out when I start grasping for external validation.  After all, I am as guilty as the next person.   

But, isn't that what social media is?  It encourages self-promotion.  I am not sure if this is making us better athletes.  

Who am I to say a word?  I have a blog- is there anything more narcissistic than your own website?  I try to justify it by saying that no one has to read my blog and I use this as a way to make friends and share my journey.  I try to make up for it by not posting every single workout and award and "look at me!" moment on my facebook feed.  But, justifications are just what they are, and I can be the worst offender.  

And, yes, we should be proud of our accomplishments.  We should not feel bad when we improve or hit a home run.

Balance.  It all comes back to that word.  

So, how to balance this all?  How to be a center midfielder in my life and in triathlon?  That is what Dave and I have been discussing this week.  He reminded me to continue to choose races that I want to do, whether I will be good at them or provide a "good" result.  He encouraged me to keep traveling and enjoy my racing with friends, aka, my "team."   He encouraged me to be proud of the good race, not the good result.  He encouraged me to keep finding the races where I come in last and learn something.  

This is the same lesson I learned from Hillary.  Be a small fish in a big pond.  That is the center midfielder/ defender way.  

Don't look for external validation.  Pick the challenges that will invoke true accomplishment, not a facebook compliment.  Look inside more, outside less.  Develop in a way that you are always strengthening your character.  These are the things that Dave and I reaffirmed as wanting in our lives.   
On my race list is Norseman (Dave said no) and Lanzarote (Dave said no).  I finally stuck a bargain with Leadman 250 in Bend, OR.  Dave said I could sell the Volvo and take the money for the trip, which is impossible because then I couldn't get to work without a car.  So, the schedule for the remainder of the year is still on the table, but I am certain it will include some travel (Dave approved a trip to Kari...actually, I have a 500 mile radius- no flying-, so if you have a race for me, send it my way!).  It will definitely include some friends.  And it will hopefully include a lot of hard work representative of a good center mid-field player. 

 And for Angelina, may England step it up and get out of this first round!