More Importantly

Tales of training (or not training) seem to hijack this blog most of the time. I am not completely defined by triathlon or consumed by improving as an athlete- although I do enjoy both and feel grateful that I still have the opportunities to define myself and grow as an athlete.

I thought about this today as I went to visit Shelby Angel. How do I come across to those friends that know me only from master's swim, or bike riding, or road racing? Do I come across as a person that is passionate about athletics, but void of other life passions? Do I live a meaningful life?

I don't really have the full answer to that question yet. My life is meaningful, but could probably be even more so. For the weekend, my most meaningful hour was the hour I spent with Shelby Angel. It was involving myself in her care and her love. It was my small moment in time where I made a difference in the world- the world of one animal.

Shelby Angel has adjusted well to the Memphis Humane Society. She is still a beautiful, loving dog. Nothing fills my life with more gratitude than spending time with animals in need. And nothing hurts more than leaving and KNOWING that I have not made enough of a difference.

Shelby Angel goes crazy when I come to visit. I go at least one time a week to see her. She just can't contain herself when she sees me. It is pure happiness- reserved for me. She loves me.

And after we snuggle, and kiss, and play, and snuggle...I have to walk away. And boy is that awful. My most painful tears are the ones I reserve for her. Or are they for me? Mad at myself I have not done better- found her a home- given her every single thing she deserves.

She gets so upset when I leave. When we are separated, she sometimes even tries to bite and chew through the fence in a panic to get back to me. And at that point I am crying like crazy. And I do the best I can- and I will be there to see her next week, and the next....until we find her a loving home.

So I enjoy triathlons and training- they teach me discipline and accomplishment. I love my animals and friends- they teach me love and kindness.

When I was racing IMFL08, I posted pictures of my dogs on my bike- with the mantra-"Please let me be the person my dog thinks I am." I don't think I realized what the quote really meant in relation to racing, but I think I do today. It means- "don't let my swim, bike, or run be the most important part of my day."