Do or do not- there is no try.
Never, ever give up.
The post-injury recovery is pretty tough mentally, as well as physically. This has been my first week of pain and doubt (I am 5 weeks post sx). I am working hard to get back into the swing of things, and I am having to challenge my mind to stay on top of the recovery as well.
It just hit me yesterday how hard the process it- the recovery, the doubt, the work that I will have to do. I freaked out in swim on Friday, it was just such a bad, bad swim. I have been back to 5 master's practices, and I am just not ready for IM sets for time or for back to back hard swim classes. My knee is not ready, I am not ready. I was so hard on myself that day. But, today is a new day and I am eager to get in the pool tomorrow and do the best that I can. I have to be willing to do it again.
Today I rode my bike for 45 minutes...at a 15mph average. So, basically I am where I was when I first rode my bike 4 years ago. Ughh, huh? I know you feel my pain. I came home mad and sad. But, it is all part of the process- and poof, I will back on the bike tomorrow to try to figure it out. What is it going to take? What do I need to do? When you lose control over the input=output, all you can do it work hard every day, regardless of the outcome.
Of course the hardest has been the running. 1 minute 30 seconds is my limit right now. Painful...??? not really painful. Right??? no, not right. Yet. I hope. So it is really about hope. You know, if I tore my ACL in soccer, they would repair it and I would be running/playing again. But my injury is a little more convoluted, it is a guessing game with no guarantees. How do I fight that?
By guaranteeing myself that I will work as much as I can on it and not focus on the future or outcomes I cannot control.
So right now I cannot even think about racing. I can't set goals like that. I am setting goals to do my strength training, eat my vegetables, do something daily that will help me get fit, ride my bike no matter what the mph says, have gratitude for any amount of running I accomplish, and be willing to face weakness as many days/months/years as it takes to continue the journey.
And like Kevin Leathers told me not too long ago (which I think about often because it is comforting)- he is still PRing in his 60s. Just kidding, he is PRing at 45. And he is a fellow soccer player, so I will actually listen to him.
And just to stay competitive at something, I think I was the first bridesmaid to order both my dress and buy my shoes for Joy's wedding. Go me!
6 comments:
let me know if there's anything i can do to help lift your spirits. i know this phase is incredibly difficult. when i had jaw surgery and couldn't eat for six weeks and lost all muscle and in shape"ness", it was soooo hard to get back into it (and this was my sophomore year in college and during track season...no track season that year). but you know what? i started running again and some friends (thanks damie) even think that i'm still a "runner." so you too will get back on your feet soon!
and joy is getting married? how did i miss this news?
Hey Damie-
I think that anyone who has gone through a serious injury and setback can understand where you're coming from. First - it took guts to post this, so major kudos to you. Second - I know that you're a very competitive athlete, and you've experienced success in the past because of your drive, passion, and love for the sport. That part of you doesn't just 'switch off' when you're injured. This is NOT an easy process at all - and I really like how you're setting daily goals (eating veggies, lifting, etc) - those will definitely help. I think one of the most difficult parts of injures that people don't talk about are the unknowns. You don't have all the answers and don't really know what to expect in the future...so how do you prepare now? There's no easy answer, and I think you're doing the best that you can with what you have. Getting angry and upset is totally normal and necessary - be mad! Be upset - but the move forwards and focus on the things you CAN control. Hang in there...day by day you are making progress, even if you don't feel it yet. You've gone through a lot...more than what most people ever have to deal with. Stay strong Damie - we all believe in you! Don't focus on the long road...because it isn't that long...it just appears that way from your perspective.
You can do it - I believe in you!
yes to what everyone has said so far! this is BY FAR the hardest stage of the game...when you are healed enough to do stuff but really not ready or able to do that much!!! patience!!! it will come. just remember now to be extra gentle with yourself and go into things with no expectations. it is what it is and the only thing you can do at this point is improve. you goals are different at this stage than they were a year ago - it might be just to run for 2 min or to be able to bike for an hour without suffereing from complete exhaustion. but it does come back if you are patient and you don't overdo it! make sure to keep doing your exercises and focus on building strength(you know the saying, strength before length(distance/volume), and length before speed.
the good news is that you still have sooooo much time to build good habits and a solid base before race season is even underway.
i know you can do it!!!
D.,
Please throw your bike computer in a box along with your wristwatch and lap counter. Tell me when we're going for a ride.
Nice Yoda quote.
I agree with everyone's advice - keep your head up. And I love CBD's - throw all timing devices out the window and just enjoying training. That is what I've had to do getting back after pregnancy - just get out there because you love to run, bike, swim! It'll fall into place eventually!
Let me know when we're going for a ride, or if you need a Ben and Jerry's pint, or if you want to got to lunch and get a salad. I'm here for you chica!!
And remember, you have not been given something you are not strong enough to handle. Damie vs. injury? I'm taking Damie every time!!
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