Kids- the new accessory for the 30 year old.
Except when you are 30 and don't have one. Like me. Do dogs count? No, they don't. You see, I live in a sheltered world around here. Many of my every day friends do not have children. So, it is completely normal for me to not have one. My friends here are acquiring dogs too, so I fit in.
But, I can hardly get in touch with an old friend on facebook that does not have a picture of them with their child on their profile. The kids- and the kid nots. That is what it comes to when you reach the age of 30. I am flipping through profiles and all I can see are those with kids, and those without kids- because it is very much advertised. It is the craze- all of my friends want a kid- and they want one now. I try to back away slowly....why the rush? Diamonds aren't forever- KIDS are forever!
And then there is me in the monkey suit. A tri suit to all of us, but a monkey suit to my friends that do not do triathlons. Picture with kid= happy and successful. Picture in triathlon suit=unhappy and crazy.
And then there are the friends with kids that I never get to talk to. They talk to other friends (with kids) quite frequently. But, when it comes to kid-less me, well, what is there to talk about? (what, you don't want to hear about my Ironman, again?)
Some moms are getting quite mad at me now. How can I say such things- obviously I have never had a kid and I don't know the life changing effects they have on you. Actually, I have been told you have never lived or loved until you have a kid. I don't doubt this. And now I will go cry as I realize my life has been shallow and meaningless.
Some of you are laughing at me- you may even be one of the 80% that reported if you had to do it all over again you might not have kids. I heard that on the radio- not sure where it came from. Well, probably none of your kids have hit the teenage years yet, so maybe that statistic doesn't apply just yet- your time will come.
Okay, so I am 30 and kid-less. I am flipping through facebook and don't feel one bit jealous that I don't have a kid to put in my picture. If and when the stork brings a kid to the Roberts household, I will let you all know. With the luck I have with dogs wandering up to me, maybe a kid will just wander up to me too! (neutered with shots would be great).
So here is a picture of me with my newest kid. She is 8 months old now- she is already walking and running, and she has hit her developmental milestones faster than your kid. She can also feed herself and is potty trained. And, while your kid will just develop an attitude and talk back more over time, mine will continue to improve her behavior. I don't have to worry about her getting pregnant or smoking crack. This may be the best mother-daughter relationship around!
16 comments:
Amen to this! Great post!
i for one am anti-kid. the only good i see in it is for someone to take care of me in my old age (damn, i am cynical). is it wrong that i revel in the fact that all my high school enemies on facebook are now fat and have three kids tying them down? is it wrong that, as a psychology major, i see them more as an experiment than a treasure? or that i like my body the way it is? no matter what anybody says, kids are not the end-all, be-all of life. i love having someone to coddle and care for - they just all happen to have four legs and fur. and i'm offended that they aren't allowed to go where people can take their kids, because those kids annoy me just as much as bonnie could annoy anyone else.
bah humbug ;)
Linds, I don't know if you are making fun of me or yourself, but regardless it is hilarious. :) love ya :)
This made me LAUGH! As a MOM too! Awsome!
I totally agree with you. I have absolutely no desire(right now) to have kids. All i have to do is be around my neices and nephews and i'm like.....oh hell no! Not me, EVER! I'll stick with the 4-legged kind.
I do have to admit, it is tough to hang around other girls my age who all have kids....thats all they talk about! Then they ask me when i'm gonna have kids, i'm like..UH probably never! I do however admire them!
30 year olds with kids hang out with other 30 year olds with kids for their own sanity. they can share baby wise, poopy, and feeding strategies with one another. misery is company, and i don't think that there's anything wrong with that. you tend to hang out with folks who are in the same season of life as you so that you can learn from one another. i have LOTS of friends with kids (most have kids) and i have only a handful of friends without kids. i tend to hang out with the handful right now. we just "get" each other. regardless, you're entry is hilarious and you made me laugh! i think your doggies count, and you can hang out with your other doggie moms and have a pow wow...no pun intended.
Okay, Jan and I decided that I may be 30, but it is just not my season for kids. I am still in the season of school. I am a 30 year old, but I am still in school like a 23 year old- not able to support myself, much less a family! ha ha ha! okay, let's see what develops in the next couple of years or so....
don't worry - i'm a 37 yo and i still can't figure out how i ended up with two kids! i think my 11 yo is more mature than me ;). kids happen when they do and i don't think that there is ever the perfect time for them. that being said, i'm pretty lucky that most of my friends do tris AND have kids so i never feel too out of the loop however trust me, it is about the last thing we talk about when we are out training or hanging out!
Yes kids are definitely NOT for the selfish!!!
This post cracks me up! My aunt gave me the best piece of advice ever growing up - the most important decision that you ever make in your life is who you have kids with. (of course Dave is awesome so no worries for you!) This tri group in Memphis is very origional in that there are a ton of super successful happy women sans kids. And yeah here I am rapidly approaching 30 and just me. I guess I'm wayyyyy behind 'the curve'! Yay for four legged babies!
Hum! Selfish?? I don't think it's selfish to not have children until you KNOW you and hubby are ready. Enjoy the life you have know, enjoy the puppies, your sport and enjoy your hubby. Kids do change everything! In great ways and not so great ways.
Smart post Damie. I love it!! You made me laugh today.
Mom of many!!
i am a friend of jan's and linked to your site through hers. i hope it isn't blogger faux pas to comment as a stranger, but i just thought i'd say first of all pardon my wordiness. also:
1. as a mom of a 5 month old, i very much enjoy reading of your ironman adventures (as well as joy johnson's)! sure, being a mom has opened up a new realm of communication with other moms, but it didn't squelch my interests in other things. and to me, marriage is the relationship that's for a lifetime. kids are always progressing toward an independence from their parents, from the moment you cut the umbilical cord.
2. being married before 30 could be construed as "rushing in" as well...some people figure why kill the dating scene so soon when you have a lifetime ahead of you.
3. kids themselves aren't really the issue, any more than marriage is the issue. it's about the people/parents involved and every family is different. some make the paradigm desirable, others make you want to run!
4. in the end, it's really only a feature of modernity that we can be married (aka sexually active) and opt NOT to have kids OR to have them at the discretion of our own timing. anyway, sorry to ramble, i just had several random thoughts.
5. just thought i'd let you know that i'm a mom, but i'm also a reader/pianist/novice marathoner/novice swimmer who enjoys hearing about other things besides mom things and i still enjoy my friends who aren't moms =) neither kids NOR marriage are for the selfish, in my opinion...
Great thoughts, everyone. Thank you for sharing, as always. I hope my funny facebook commentary has not grown into something more than fun banter. While it wasn't meant as a serious topic on having kids, I love that everyone has so many intelligent ideas to pull from it. I know it is fun for me to look around at 30 and say, hey...now what happens next? And, like "how to do it all" Kerrie and all-around mom Lee, it is so cool to see women that really do have such diversity in their lives and love for their families. I learn so much from you women! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I still love you even though you dont have kids! That would never be the reason why I would not talk to friends. I completely respect your choice in family planning, everyone must do what is right for themselves; ESPECIALLY when it comes to having babies.
yea lots of my high school classmates on facebook have kids and every single status update has something to do with their brood. they also have fat old husbands, for the most part, i get a giggle out of the fact that i went to this private all girls' school that hammered into us "you can do anything! you are SPECIAL!" but it was a lie ;)
and i have a sister with 5 kids who probably will have more. don't even get me started on her and her reasons... something to do with saving the world or something.
your dog is adorable! wooo for childlessness! i have no regrets about being thirty and childless, i wouldn't trade places with anyone i know.
Happy Thanksgiving Damie!! I agree with your thoughts! Thanks for accepting me as I am!!! And for being my friend!!!!! Great thoughts from everyone! Thx for sharing!
Mattie(my four legged child)& Me
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