NUGGETS

Here we are...Nuggets post game (with a few people missing).

The playoffs- Nuggets vs Showboats (old people-us vs youngsters-them).

Yup....co-ed soccer playoffs. Serious stuff in our house ;) We fell behind 4-0 from laziness. No one makes up a 4-0 deficit in soccer, except us. Final whistle, 4-4. That's right. From pure and simple hard work and NEVER giving up. I was thinking about the half IM I have this weekend while I was on the field, and the Ironman to come. I had a string of bad plays in a row- my head started to get down. Then, with a little time, I was playing well...and our team started to play well. Lots of things can happen in games and races. You never know when the tide is going to turn, so keep your head up and in the game. One pass, one step at a time.

The game ended in penalty kicks (PKs). I am sure most of you know what that is. Taking them is nerve racking and never easy. It is like saying "Here is your chance to be the hero or the loser. Good luck!" 5 players on our team (2 girls) had to take them. Everyone came to me and asked me to be one of the girls- and to please take the first kick. None of the other girls wanted up there. Knowing I could help or hurt our team...one way or the other, I said... "Sure, I would love to take a PK." And, I walked up there with confidence (or fake confidence, whatever). My team believed in me.

And I nailed mine. Yeah for me! I totally pump my fist afterwards, too. I am such a dork...but a passionate dork. (And for the record, I have not made all of my PKs in my life. I distinctly remember missing a really important one where my women's team in New Orleans lost a tournament- if Cindy is reading this, I am sure she remembers!).

We lost the game anyways at the end on the PKs because our team had a couple of misses. Bummer, since we are now out of the championship. We still went to get beer though. :) That seems to make it all better!

In the end, I got several compliments from teammates about my game. It felt good. Really, though, I didn't do anything fantastic tonight. I just did the small stuff. The hustle. The little things that are in our control that we don't always give the deserved attention. So, everyone keep their heads up with their next race or game. One bad move, pass, or mile is not a disaster. Find a way to win the ball back or get back on pace. Keep your head in the game. (I hope I can take my own advice this weekend!)



Dave and Damie :) 12 years of playing soccer together- to be honest, I am not sure our bodies will make it 12 more! They other players just keep getting younger! :) Cheers to us- we love soccer.

Rock N Roll Half- 4 Days Out

I am sitting down to write this post and I am just exhausted. We have a mad house here...Roo, Presley, new kitty, and sister's dog Zinny. 4 is tooo many here. The morning consists of: Zinny whining (arghhhhh) at 5:30 am, taking the dogs out to pee on a leash b/c is is raining at 5:30 am (arghhh), keeping Presley separated from the kitten, feeding the animals, and trying to restore normal morning order. So, I missed Master's swim this morning and will have to go on my own- this may be better anyways since I can hardly see straight this morning.

Thank goodness for Roo-Roo- wonder dog. He is so great with all of the chaos- even the kitten. This morning I just plopped on the couch and did not know where to start. He just came up and gave me snuggles and kisses. He always seems to know when mommy is stressed and needs a little extra love!

We have my in-laws coming in town this weekend (not my choice of weekends), but we can't get the house clean with all of the animal juggling with the rain, so....they will just have to appreciate our mad animal house for what it is. Plus, I am trying to get ready for this race- it is just a hectic week. I am no longer the master of my own home. I give up.

My very first half ironman is this weekend. I am really excited- and nervous too. I am sure I can finish the distance, but exactly HOW and IN WHAT CONDITION I finish is a whole other issue. I am heading to Macon, Georgia with Joy. She has done about a million of these things, and I think they are equivalent to a 5k to her now. The scary thing for me is that a 1/2 IM is my first race of the season. I have not done a single open water swim this year. Oh me.

This should be an interesting adventure to say the least. The good news is the drive always goes by fast when Joy and I travel together. We have the ability to talk for 6 hours straight and never feel like we have said all we needed to say. ;)

Yet Another House Guest

This post can go so many different ways. First things first...

I have an amazing husband. He deserves, and will get, his own post- not just a sentence or two in this one. Again, he is awesome and I love him.

To the point.

On our group ride today, we discovered a kitten that had been abandoned on the side of the road. Everyone thought it was so sad, but what could they do. I felt the same way. On with the ride. Well, 12 hours later and the kitten is sleeping right next to me.

Three things happened that encourage me to go back and find the kitten, 8 hours after we passed him on the ride.

1. I think about rescuing animals all of the time. I think about it almost daily- the way I think about food. It is just something my mind always comes back to. I think there is a life-calling somewhere in all of the thoughts.

2. Last night I had a dream that a strange cat kept coming into my house . I couldn't figure out why it wanted to be in the house, but it wouldn't go away. I often have visual dreams that make sense at a later time. This is one of them. A premonition perhaps?

3. I told myself that if I was still thinking about the kitten in the afternoon, I could go back and find him. I called Dave around 3:30 crying. I didn't know what to do. I find animals ALL OF THE TIME. I can't stop every time. I know I can't take every animal in. I can't tell you how many times I have called Dave crying about an animal. This time, though, Dave told me if I want to go get the kitten I could. I am not sure why it was different this time, but it was.

So, who wants to adopt a cutie patootie? It is not in our best interest to keep another cat here. Or the kitten's... picture 18 pounds of mean Presley doing everything possible to kill the kitten. (Believe it or not, Roo just wants to play with it:)



When you think about rescuing, saving, or loving animals, it can seem overwhelming. There are just too many. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or sad, I try to come back to the story about the man walking along the beach and throwing starfish back in the ocean before they die. Another man asks him why he is even bothering...there are just too many starfish to save them all. The man can't make a difference in the number that die. The man throws another one back and replies that he just made a difference to that one.

Animals are kind of the same way. You can't save every animal. You might not make a dramatic impact. But, you can make a difference to one.

Hanging On

Literally and Figuratively

Hanging on at track
Last night was the Tues track practice. 12x200. Sounds easy. Much better than the 12x400 from 2 weeks ago. Well, they used to be better when I had more speed and strength! The dilemma...go with the 1st group (faster intervals+ less recovery) or hang with the second group. I have no business being with the first group right now. I am just not there physically. But, I remembered something that Ben Knoerschild (fabulous runner) told me a long time ago. He was not a fast runner, but he just decided one practice after many cross country practices to try to run with the first group- and the rest was history. So, at the last second I jump on with the 1st group and go! And, it is hard. My legs have no speed, no strength.

I just hang on the back. The very back...but I hang on.

At the 6th interval, Coach Paul asked me how I was doing, and I replied "getting in shape hurts. I am on the back, but I am still barely making the interval...should I drop to the second group?" He said no, stay with the first until my times drop off. My breathing was so hard- I was pulling my sports bra off of my chest after every interval because I couldn't get enough expansion in my chest. Like I said before, getting in shape really does hurt. Well, I made all 12. On the very, very back, mind you, and not fast. But, mentally I think the back of the 1st group was better for me than the front of the 2nd group.

Hanging on at swim
I show up to swim this morning (my legs still somewhere on the track) and Coach Rob puts me in Andrew's lane. Ummm, no thanks, I said. He is way too fast, and he is. Can I get in another lane? No, get in with Andrew. Great. And, Andrew is probably 5 minutes faster than me per mile- on his easy day...I really have no business being with him.

But I try to hang on, again.

I draft and I push myself. I hang on for some of the pull sets, all of the the fin sets....and only 1 of the swim sets. I lost my arms somewhere after that 400 pull when I tried to keep up, and it was downhill after that. (My arms and legs are somewhere together- hopefully resting right now). Yes, I have no business at all being in that lane. But, I did try to challenge myself and hang on.

Thank goodness I had an hour and a half ride right after that swim with 25 hill repeats. My morning just would not have been complete without it! I did make the best of it by enjoying the most gorgeous morning at Shelby Forest. For those of you that do not know Shelby Forest, it is a hidden gem...full of hills, trails, and wildlife. And, just when I was disappointed that I didn't see a single animal, a wild turkey ran in front of me! Yippeee!!!!

The only thing I am not holding on to today is where I was yesterday, and last year, and 5 years ago. It does not matter what my fitness was in the past; it only matters where it is now and where I want to be. So, I am going to keep moving forward to stop moving backward!

Amenaza Triple

Amenaza Triple- the name of our female relay team for Memphis In May. And, Amenaza Triple rocked! We won the women's relay and had a lot of fun together. I got this team together out of a need to get some bike practice in for the weekend. I did not want to race the whole race (no burn out, please), but I wanted to participate somehow.

Here we are! Damie, Katherine, and Wendy. Katherine and Wendy were my ringers for the relay. Katherine, ex-Harvard swimmer and coach + mommy extraordinaire did the swim leg. Wendy, ex- D1 runner and 3:02 marathoner..ofcourse did the run. I was nervous as I was the weak link that had to hold up my end of the bargain! It was lots of fun, though. Katherine shows up completely nonchalant- hole in her wesuit- dreading the run from the swim to the transition area. So hilarious. Wendy was worried about running on her dead-post Boston marathon legs + 10k last weekend. I don't know how the girl does it.

So, Katherine comes out of the relay swim wave 4th...it was awesome! I was so proud just cheering her on. I did have some work to do as the one female team in front of me had 2 minutes on me. Plus, I knew Laura G. was bound to be behind me. I had three goals for the race. 1. Puke or come close to it. 2. Beat my time from last year. and 3. Pay more attention to my position on the bike seat.

I accomplished goal 1 as I puked in my mouth about mile 6 (although I think it was from eating that cliff bar 30 minutes from the start...too close for solid food). Hello!!! When will I learn and actually follow a nutrition plan??? 2. Had the same time from last year. Dern it! 1:05:25 this year- last year was 1:05:27. Shoot...that goal really wasn't met. and 3. Bike position much better. Yea!

Well, I managed to get in front and give Wendy the lead heading out on the hot run. Thank goodness it was her and not me!!! Anyways, relays are fun. There is some pressure to do well because you don't want to let your teammates down, but I was able to have a good swim this morning and continue training, so at least I was not wiped out from the weekend by doing the whole thing.

Here are some fun MIM pics.
Alyson, Laura, and Damie- three Memphis friends

Brian, Alyson, Laura, Damie- Brian always has the ladies around! We love Bri.


Damie and Sam. Sam, again, had a fantastic MIM with a 2:13:15. So, she dropped 2 minutes from her time this year where most of us added a couple!


Damie and Sarah (with an 18:43 swim...holy crap...can you teach me that?)- go Thunder!

This weekend I took away a nugget of truth that triathlons for me are about fun. If it is not fun, there is no point for me- I am not a professional, I am average. It is a good way for me to challenge myself, get in shape, and improve as an athlete and individual. I enjoy the friendships I have in the tri-world, and I feel sad when the competitiveness of the age grouper interferes with those friendships. I hope to keep the rest of this season fun, get in shape (hurry up, please!), and finish Florida!!!!

Oh, and please send Mira a hug or two. I will let her tell her MIM story on her own, but that girl needs a spell of good luck. I think I need to find a four leaf clover for her!

And You Think Your Friends Are Funny

Yesterday I opened an email from Tom that said : Do you think they had Damie's permission to use her photo?

He forwarded this to a bunch of college friends. My favorite response was from my friend Molly. It was something like...

"Oh my gosh, Tom, Holly and I have said the same thing forever! We have already talked about how that is Damie's twin!"

I am thinking...what in the hell? I hopefully don't look like any of those girls in the picture. But, the response was unanimous; I look like the girl in the middle. Dave took one look at it and started laughing. He said I did kind of look like her. This has since circulated to all of my college friends. Thanks alot, jackasses!!!!

Rant of the Week- Sorry (Kind of)

I promised myself I had to wait at least one week before ranting on this topic. If I was still thinking about it a week later, I had the green light to rant.

Rant: Someone came up to me after a hard group ride and told me if I wanted to get faster, I needed to work on my nutrition (not nutrition on my bike, overall nutrition). The person did not even do the whole group ride. I am pretty sure this person doesn't even do half of the training I do. So, was I a little defensive much? He started to pick apart my whole diet and tell me he couldn't believe that I was eating taco pie for dinner. That I was so unhealthy....imagine him looking me up and down. And, imagine him having a few extra pounds on his frame too.

Aghhhh...grrrrr.......growl......

I didn't invite you into my personal food life, Mr. I Don't Have a Degree in Nutrition and don't have the best body on earth but am going to tell you how to eat. And, I am eating taco pie for dinner because Dave cooked it and I really appreciate it. I don't give one rat's @ss that it has refined flour in the bread because it is a nice, hot meal and much better than the microwave one I would cook myself at 9:00 at night.

Have you ever seen the Saturday Night Live skit with Chris Farley, David Spade, and Adam Sandler- the gap girls. They are eating fries and Chris Farley is stuffing his face. David Spade says "Umm, Cindy, I thought you were on a diet" and Chris Farley growls "Lay off." That is how I feel.

Food: I have been fortunate enough to play soccer my entire life. Small was not good- small people got knocked off of the ball. My best playing weight was 10-15 pounds heavier than I am now. That was my very best year. My very worst year was at the same weight I am now. Soccer players are covered by baggy shorts and tops. The way your body looks just isn't an issue. I really don't want to make it one now that I am 30. I want to eat healthier to fuel my body, but I realize that I have had 30 years...hold on, 30 years....let me say that one more time...30 years of habits that will need to be chipped away. And, I will never be perfect at it because deep down inside I am a soccer player that used to eat Lucky Charms for breakfast before a game because, well, they were lucky. I eat apples now (not for breakfast, just in general). I hate apples. That is a huge step for me. I have not eaten a pop tart in months. Yea me! See, I am getting better, I just haven't totally made it over the hump.

okay, enough of a rant. I think any female reading this can identify.

And, to Mr. I Know Everything About Nutrition...thanks for the input, but next time I will ask if I want it. And, I have plenty of other resources. Oh, and don't judge people by their bodies.

A House Guest

The Roberts had a house guest this weekend, Latte Gilmour. Laura G. went to Panama City this weekend to do the Gulf Coast Half IM. With some last minute changes, Latte was left without someone to care for him.

Laura and I have exchanged stories time and time again about the difficulty we have had with our dogs and socialization. Both have had some bad encounters with other dogs and have acted aggressively, leading us to feel like failures as parents. If you have a dog, I know you understand. If you don't have a dog, but have kids, imagine if your kids did not get along with others. Yucky. So, when Laura asked if Latte could stay with us, well, I wasn't so sure. I really wanted to say yes, come on over, Latte. But, I realized that it probably wouldn't work and I would just have to dog sit Latte at Laura's house.

So, the two dogs meet, and....



Surprise! They are best friends! More than best friends, really, since Latte really likes to hump Rooney. Latte is welcome at our house any time. He was the best addition! We all had so much fun together, and Rooney really likes him. So, maybe Rooney is not crazy and aggressive- maybe, like us, there are just some dogs he does not like.


And some that he does.

Latte and Rooney- night night time!

To Be

Yesterday we had a guest lecturer in Ortho III Spine class. The guest walks to the front of the room and we all scramble to get our notes ready. Some of the lectures are interesting, some are repetitive, and some seem to be a waste of time. This guest speaker, an orthopedic surgeon of almost 30 years, tell us he is going to begin by lecturing to us about life.

My ears are open. Anytime someone smarter than I, and that is almost everyone, has something to tell me about life- I am in.
Here is what he starts with. Listen closely.

TO BE, AND NOT TO SEEM

To live a life of excellence, we must be- not seem to be something. Do it, be it, live it. Don't pretend.

TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, BE GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO.

Oooohh. I liked this one too. His point being- confidence is not a feeling. It is molded through striving for excellence and never settling for mediocrity. So, to believe in yourself...be excellent, not mediocre.

To be an excellent student at anything in life, the keys are ATTENTION and REPETITION. Pay full attention when someone is teaching you something. That takes discipline, especially when it seems boring. Then repeat the lesson, over and over. He said if you only get the main idea of complicated things or lessons and don't put in the extra time to really learn all of the details, you are cheating yourself to mediocrity. There is no way you can ever truly believe in yourself if you never take the extra effort to be great, be an expert, be excellent.

There were only 2 out of 49 students taking notes on this, and the other student was an older student like me. This lecture said more to me than anything I have heard in school in quite a while. Have I settled for mediocrity in some things? You bet. Have I seemed to be something rather than actually be? Yes. Do I pay attention and perform repitition? Not enough.

I found I had a lot to think about after hearing this surgeon speak not just on spines, but on the path to success he has taken in his life. I hope this gives you some food for thought and some inspiration to strive for excellence this weekend.


Here are some roses from our garden in the backyard- from me to you! Have a great weekend!

Hello, track

Coach Paul probably fell out when he heard I was returning to track. Actually, he probably felt like falling out when he saw me jogging up to the workout. Last track practice for me was January 15. (I went one time after that, but the 30 mph winds and freezing temp pretty much killed the party.) In Jan we did a 400,400,800,mile,800,400,400 workout. My times were good, and I have log notes about moving easily- which is a good sign for me. Track practice has been a mainstay in my life for almost two years. I rarely miss, and when I attend I see results.

But, there is a love/hate relationship in some ways. For one, I started feeling worn down. I reached a point last fall where I was burned out, and the VO2max intervals at faster than mile pace every single week were really starting to wear on me. Secondly, track used to be a very peaceful place with about 20 runners. It was a safe place to work on your speed, at your pace. It was a runner's world. Well, track is a little different now. The participant demographics have changed (mainly to triathletes-no offense to triathletes- I am one- but, triathletes are a different breed). It can feel a little more competitive out there; and to be honest, I don't feel like racing every week. It takes some committment to your inner being to make sure you are doing your workout and not getting involved in the times of other runners. It also takes some thoughtfulness and true love of running to make sure you are not judging or gauging other runners out there.

So, Almost 4 months later, I head back out to track. I complete a set of 11x400s in decent time. I don't "move easily" out there because I am out of track shape. But, there is something amazing that happens when you do start to move with ease out there. I am craving that feeling again. This is a good sign of things to come.



And, the athlete of the week goes to my sister, Rebekah. She has now attended track practice 4 weeks in a row. Bad-ass. Consistency is the key with track. I am so proud of her!


And, a picture of my friend, Frances. She said she missed me, and, well, I missed her too! We have run a lot of miles together!!!

VIP: To Laura, Charlie, and Joy...blogger friends and real life homies. Best of luck to you three at the Gulf Coast Half IM. I have seen the training you three have done. You are in top notch shape and deserve to have great races. I know this weekend will be very successful for you three. You have done the work. Have lots of fun and do your best!

Race Report- Take 2 Sans Pictures

Still no pics from Whit, but I will post some as soon as I get them.

The alarm goes off at 4:30am and I head off to Gulf Shores. I really, really need some caffeine, but I can't take any because I will pee 10 times during the race if I do. I get there and start setting up everything. The first race of the year is always fun because I just look dumbfounded trying to remember what I am supposed to do.

Then the announcement: no swim. So what if there is a huge storm coming, a huge surf, and the coastal life guards can't get through the breakers? Who cares about red flags? I came to swim! Fine, whatever. Now it is a duathlon. I have never even done a duathlon. What do I do? Do you go out hard? Take it easy on the first run? I was still excited to at least race...it had been soooooooooo long.

First run: We start time-trial style (not my favorite because you really don't know where you are in relation to the other athletes). Off I go! Oohhh. That was a slow run. I think to myself, is this an indicator of how my second run will be? Oh well...onto the bike! Yea!!!!

Bike: This was the fun part of the day. I promised myself I would push it, although I still don't quite know exactly what that means. I still feel very inexperienced on the bike. But, I spot people and just start working to pass. There was never a section without wind, and 1 mile of a tailwind out of the 19.5 miles. But, I was so focused on riding hard it did not bother me. I just went with it-no complaining. I even challenged myself at one point to really push it in the middle. There was a "pack" forming, and I didn't like the looks of it- I don't want a penalty when I have been working so hard. So, I pull up next to a girl that has been swapping spots with me all morning and said "let's go. Let's get away from these guys. Come on!" So, I push it around the group...my legs were burning...it was the fastest I have ridden in a race. Granted, it didn't last long, but I got around the group and figured if those other guys were so fast they could just repass me.

The best part of the ride happened around mile 15 or so. Jeff Skinner, my friend and excellent cyclist, catches me. Remember, it was a time trial start, so he started about 2 min behind, we think. He passes with a smile..."Keep it up Damie." I keep riding and notice that although he has passed me, he wasn't gaining much ground. So, about a mile later I give it one more effort and pull back up to him. I said "Get moving, Skinner. Don't you dare pass me only to slow down!" He couldn't believe he didn't drop me. Then we turned back into the head wind and he took off- never to be passed again. (He told me later he waited till we got to the full head wind because he knew I wouldn't have the strength to hang with him. He was right! :) So, good, fun ride. I think I was around 21.2 mph or something close to that. I was proud of that for the start of the season, and I had fun! Plus, I didn't complain in my mind about the wind. I just kept going.

T2 to Run 2: Some guy just left all of this crap everywhere and his bike at an angle, so T2 was not a super clean transition. But, on with my running shoes and off I go! Ouch. This doesn't feel as easy as is normally does. I pass a girl or two, but then that is it. I know that the first 1/2 mile is usually a little tough, but it dissapates...just keep pushing. Well, it did get easier, but I didn't get any faster. Bummer. My run- normally a strength of mine off of the bike- was my weakness. Thoughts of mine on the run:

1. My hair is too long. I can't wait to get it cut. Boy is it bothering me.
2. I hope no one cares that I keep picking my bathing suit out of my butt. (it was my first time to race in this suit)
3. Oh, I knew I shouldn't have done all of those fun runs/races this spring. I should've been training. NO, replace that with a positive thought. Your legs are strong. They are happy you have put the marathons on them. There will be good that comes from this.
4. Okay, you don't have to worry about these girls. They are in there 30s...not in your age group.
5. 5 mintues later. Wait a minute. I am 30! I am in a different age group!
6. Why is this guy coaching me. Stop talking! Can't you see I am running here?
7. Okay, a girl is passing you. Don't let that happen. Get back to her. Shoot, I can't get to her. She looks smooth. She looks happy. I look like a horse that is too old to be on the track.
8. Time trial races come down to SECONDS, Damie. You must pick it up. Fine, just get to the finish line. How far away is it? This is the longest mile ever!!!!
9. Oh, there is Whit. Don't wave again. Just finish. Finish strong.

Whoo! I have never wanted a run to be over more than that one (with the exception of the St Jude marathon...much worse!). I finished my first race of the year, yea!!! It was hard, too! It has really been since Nov/Dec since I have raced with the intention of racing. My body truly had forgotten what a race felt like. My legs had forgotten what it was like to move quickly. But, my spirit remembered how much fun it was to finish.

I think the best part of the day for me was hanging around watching people finish. Most people leave before the end of the race. Skinner and I stayed and cheered on some of the last finishers. One girl was overweight, and I knew that the race was a struggle for her too. But, she finished...and I teared up. When we get caught up thinking that we must be faster and better than everyone else...harder on ourselves...get better equipment and ride till we die...it is good to see someone finish that is just proud to finish. That is truly an accomplishment.

So, what is next? I am going to focus on getting through my half IM at the end of May. I need to keep riding and put some running miles back on my legs. Let the training begin!

Alabama Coastal Tri- Take 2

ERrrrr!!! I just wrote a huge, long post with pictures included about the tri this weekend. Blogger was just not having it and it wouldn't post. Do I rewrite or give you the shortened, lazy version?

Okay, short version of Friday, then I will post Saturday's story tomorrow.

I left Memphis on Thurs and made the long trip to the gulf. My only thought on that is...I am too old to make long road trips by myself. I don't know how that was such an easy drive in college.

I stayed with one of my best friends and old college teammate, Patty, on Thurs. Then, I stayed with another old college teammie and other best friend Whitney on Friday. So, it was hang out time with friends plus a triathlon all in one.

Rather than post all of the pictures I did earlier, I will just post this one of the girls.
Whit, Damie, Patty...LSL of the SHC Women's Soccer Team- 1996-2000.

Patty and Whit treated me like royalty. You would've thought I was going to the Olympics. Whit looked online to find what triathletes eat for meals in order to feed me. She was so concerned about my nutrition. "Is this the right protein/carb ratio, Damie?" Ummm....it is better than the pop tart I probably would've eaten, I thought. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I just ate cheetos before I walked into her home.

Let's just say my "4th" sport/discipline is generally lacking.

I also met my friend Jeff Skinner, super age-grouper, triathlete, duathlete on Friday to register. He had a mini-camp for me where he made me ride some of the course, pick out the quickest lines through the curves, practice mounts/dismounts, and take notice of the areas of bad head wind. I was like, geez, Jeff. I have never put this much thought into it. I thought you just showed up to the race and off you go! Practice, what a novel idea!

More about the actual race to come. But, let's just say the weekend started off fabulously with good friends. I am a lucky, lucky girl.