I should say "I started, again." That is how it feels. Did I ever stop?
The answer is no. I never did stop. I never gave up on myself. I keep coming back. And like Coach Tim and I talked about, I am only done when I decide to quit. And I am not done yet.
As of this week I started back with Coach Tim. (Also known as Lucho, which I rarely ever call him.) I am generally pretty private about training and coaching. I have had a few key, pivotal coaches since I started my ironman journey. Before that and in between key times I have been self coached. Honestly, I had some really good years as a self-coached athlete. I started the sport and had some good beginner races. I rehabbed my way through a knee surgery successfully with a good season of racing to show for it. I trained my way to run a BQ in my marathoning life.
I have also been coached- always remotely. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. The first time I tried it , it worked! Anyone who knows me knows I have a huge amount of respect for Jen Harrison. I send many athletes to her for coaching. She was my very first triathlon coach and coached me to a successful first half ironman and ironman race. I was young, naive, and full of vinegar as she would probably say. She is a great woman. (and there is a plug for anyone looking for a coach. Check her out).
Sometimes remote coaching does not work. I dabbled (is there another word for it?) in other coaches. I would quickly realize it was not for me. At the worst, I would realize I was paying $$$ and they had no clue what I was doing because they didn't really look at my data that I logged diligently. Or, I was getting a "plan" they were sending to everyone of their 50 athletes. Or the communication just wasn't there. Whatever the reason, it wasn't always because the coach or training philosophy was bad (although sometimes it was!). Sometimes, it was for reasons that maybe weren't personal such as having goals post baby that didn't match my 24-hr a day crying baby situation! Or, I was moving, my bike got stolen, etc, etc. I have even run out of money and couldn't afford to be coached.
I had a couple of coaches turn me down. That stung. It was all post baby, and they told me straight up I was just not a good fit for them. I didn't have what it takes. I had too many excuses.
In the middle of all of my Ironman journey, I worked with Tim. My best years were my years working with him. Some of this was circumstantial. I was out of school, had a good job, and didn't have a kid. I was motivated like I had never been motivated in my life. I may have been at the apex of MAKE IT HAPPEN in my life.
But really, Tim was also a frickin' master at COACHING. Not writing a plan. Not writing a month long schedule. Day to day coaching. And true to this day, he never plans out more than a day or two at at time. It is the gold standard for how I view coaching remotely.
Something tells me he took me back on with trepidation. I left him right before I had Isla. And I left him grumpy. I had some coach/athlete issues that upset me, but I never knew how to talk to him about it so I just got mad and walked away. (VERY typical response from me in life....I am working on it :) I apologized and realized I need to do better. This was nothing I ever blogged about because it is pretty personal.
But here I am. Back with my coach and I hope this will be a very long term journey for me. I have lots of goals and not one of them are reasonable right now. So, I don't know if they will actually ever become goals...they may just be dreams. There is not one bit of magic that happens here. Right now I am running the same slow miles I have been slogging for the past 2 years. But this time, I have someone looking over the plan. Is the loading correct? Am I being honest with myself about my training? Is x,y,z going to help or hurt me? And given my medical concerns, there is no one I would rather have reviewing my daily data to give me some feedback if there is possibly a bigger problem, which has been a concern for a long time now.
I am back to my alarm. I am back to a decreased social life. (Because honestly, when you have a family and want to improve as an athlete you just can't have it all. Some choices have to be made and I guess mom's night at the bar had to get cut this week).
xo
