Choosing Gratitude

Tonight I was finishing up a very slow (and as normal, feeling like mud) run in a heat index of 97 degrees.  I never thought I would have to force a run that was more than a mile, but literally more than a mile and I am counting down every 10th of a mile till I can stop.  And tonight was just more of that.

But I ran into a neighbor and her family and stopped to say hi.  They asked me how my run was going, and I realized I had about 5 different answers I could give them.  1.  Horrible.  2.  Horrible and my knees really hurt.  3.  Horrible and I never knew I could ever be so slow and that slow could still feel so hard.  4.  Horrible and I can't stop gaining weight.  5.  I am so grateful to be able to run.

And you know what!  "I am so grateful to be able to run" came out of my mouth, even though I feel 1-4 and think 1-4 constantly.  And it sounded so much better than whining.

I did a 5k last Friday night, and more of the same.  25:09 was the final time.  I just can't wrap my head around these times and such drastic slowing. But really, I can't wrap my head around the fact that my body won't move faster!  An 8 minute pace is literally all I've got.  But I finished and Dave asked me how it was, and what could I say?  1.  Another PW.  This really sucks.  2.  Slow as shit.  3.  you get the picture.  4.  At least I am out here doing a 5k and trying with everything I have to run.

And I decided to say choice 4.  I chose a more gracious answer.  Because, I am grateful that I can run even just 3 miles right now.  I have been so fortunate to have reached so many goals in running and triathlon.  I have had so many successes in my eyes!  I am grateful, grateful, grateful.

So if my body is slowing down on me, I won't quit, but I will keep being grateful while pushing onward.

In the quest to help my failing joints and body, I tried one more time to get a bike fit.  And you guys may feel like me....doesn't it get old trying to find the right fit, fitter, and equipment for your bike?  I am not trying to be the most aero or get free speed anymore.  I just want to sit on my bike and feel good.  Thanks to Mark Miller, in Lafayette, I think I am a step closer to being there.  I did my first trainer ride in 3 months yesterday and my legs felt way better than they have in a year.
I count that as a big step forward, and I am really going to try to push more cycling miles into my training in an attempt to heal/help/support/strengthen my knees and structures around them.

Again, not giving up.  Grateful.